Wicked Zombies

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!

Crude akts of zombie tourture ...A.K.A. a list of things that you shouldn't/but want to do to a zombie

Shouldn't do... but sometimes you just want to

1) Donkey Punkh

2) kick in the shins

3) tease with bleeding arm

4) make fake moaning noises while insulting their mother

5) (slow zombies) running away from them, then aktting like you've fallen down just to get back up

6) (fast zombies) have well placed bear traps and force them to khase you to them

7) introduke the undead to the wonders of the elektrik fenke

8) Dirty Sankhez

9) push them in a well and play "Silenke of the lambs"

10) introduke them to tofu-human "it taste just like the real thing or your mommy bakk"

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more things you shouldn't do with zombies


1) dress them up and force them to reenact "high school musical"

2) dip them in a tub of super glue then drop them in a chicken coup

3) give them a public access show called "Fiend Dinning"
cover a midget in honey mustard and then have them hanging three feet out of reach over a crowd of zombies while singing na na na na na you can't get me
Grenade is too big. It would be easier to shove a blockbuster up a zombie's ass. Plus, it has that kool green waterproof fuse.
if they are runners, have a race with them. here is what to do.

1) CHOSE YOUR ZOMBIES
2) SHOVE DYNOMITE UP THEIR ASS
3) JUDGE HOW MUCH FUSE YOU NEED TO USE SO THEY BLOW UP AT THE FINISH LINE
4) TURN THEM LOOSE WHEN YOU LIGHT THE FUSES
5) THE WINNER OF THE RACE IS THE ONE WHO'S ZOMBIE EXPLODES CLOSEST TO THE LINE OR PAST IT

the prize is what ever we want it to be at the time. lol.
ZOMBIE 3 LEGGED RACE.

1) GET A CAGED STRAIGHT RUNWAY SET UP
2) SET UP SOME BAIT AT THE FINISH LINE
3) GET 8 ZOMBIES ROUNDED UP
4) TIE 2 OF THEM TOGETHER AT THE ANKLE TILL YOU HAVE 4 TEAMS OF 2 READY
5) SET THEM LOOSE AND WATCH THE FUN

they will rip their legs off at the hips trying to get to the bait. the antics will be so funny thast the zombies will never get the bait.
then there is the ever popular game when i was a kid. HANGMAN! you can use one zombie over and over till either the neck breaks or the head rips off. sooooooooo much fun, so many zombies to make use of. lol.

there is another one we can play with the undead. a classic computer game come to life (or unlife if you will). MINESWEEPER anyone? i just love that game.


OBJECT OF THE GAME:

1) use the zombies as the minesweepers.
2) set them loose on the minefield
3) gather up the surviving zombies (if any are left)
4) set fresh mines and then run them again

you know. with all these good ideas of games a "tortures" for our flesh eating enemy. we could open a casino in the post zombie apocolypse and make a fortune in cash and gear to outfit those who join our ranks later.
mine are more closer to home...

01. be the next american idol, they have enough dead people already
02. invite over for dinner
03. borrow money, payback is a bitch
04. double date
05. be in charge of the bullets, keys, walk the dog, movie tickets...
06. drive you to the airport
07. babysit
08. best man, maid of honor
09. hold the flashlight
10. take to the dentist

okay, dumb i know... give me a chance i am a newbie...
put them on a devise called "The Rack". its a medevil torture device used to rip the arms and legs off of people. we can use a motorized version of this to have some fun with the undead.


here is an excellent example of this. lol. (your gonna love it!)

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