You ever feel like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you still won't blab to your friends or family about the shit that's messing with you?  Or maybe you feel like punishing y…

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Comment by kasumalley on July 8, 2011 at 2:04pm

I think feeling avoidant about things is pretty typical in an estranged situation. Especially when you're young and you don't quite learn how to take on difficult, painful things like this until you're older typically. We may be older and so it is different, but estrangement is estrangement no matter how it happened. Someone always feels guilty and it's usually EVERYONE involved. It sounds like also, you feel bad for what your siblings do or don't do as far as the situation goes. Your relationship with your mom is your relationship. It's best to worry about yourself and what you do or don't do because if you beat yourself up for everyone, you're going to feel really awful.

Comment by Cheri Zarvall on July 7, 2011 at 11:23pm

I get what you guys are saying, but she abandoned me when I was 6 years old, and now she wants to be a part of my life? As far as I'm concerned, Mell is my mom, not Gail. But that doesn't make me feel less like a piece of shit, 'cause all of her children, 'cept for my eldest sibling David, well, none of them will even pick up the phone if she calls. I just wish that she would stay a memory. But, as the saying goes,  "if wishes were fishes, even beggars would eat."

Comment by kasumalley on July 7, 2011 at 10:58pm

Honey, I have just gone through the same thing and I am 26. My mother and I didn't speak for 6+ years. I beat myself up, sometimes actually, punching the wall or whatever. What it took to start feeling better was to realize that it takes 2 people and sometimes more to have a disagreement and not talk. So whatever the reason is, the cool thing is that there is a future and if you stop blaming yourself for things, and you're so young to do that, it could all look up and then maybe the next time you hear her voice, you won't feel so bad.

If you ever want to talk, send me a message. :) I'm always here!