why'd he jump?

Ever since Rick jumped off the building

I just haven't felt alright like I used to.
When I could think straight and know what to do.
I always knew what to say and how to handle things even how to manipulate the world and create within the confines of this waking dream.

Look what my life has become...
I'm so limited and even fear-full at times with every thing.
I've actually broken down form what I was and have joined the military.
I'm going to be giving up the rest of my wasted youth to serve for a better cause.
And the best part about that is I know there wont be a party to send me off.
I know that noone really cares that much any more.
And if they do care, well... I don't care enough in return.

I think what I'm saying is that I'm afraid I've lost what I thought I couldn't lose.
And I know it will come back, but when?
Theres not much I can say or do that's going to fix anything now.
I just thought you know... things would be better than this.

How have I stayed alive through every thing I've been through in this body.
All those times I thought I would have to end it well.
I guess it has to wait. Because there are promises to keep,
and a whole new set of promises I'm about to make.

But when I wake up...
will you be there?

i've forgiven you immediately when i realized your life wasn't worth living.

in the streets sipping cough syrup from the dumpster- what the fuck happened to you my friend?

next time i see you, it'll be better. we'll keep you clean and we'll start the band.