The Roof

*bang*

The gun accidently went off I screamed "MOTHERFUCKER THAT WAS MY LAST ROUND SHIT FUCKING GOOK MADE PISTOL FUCK" I threw the gun on the ground and pouted for a while I thought about how I was gonna get outta this one but I had nothing

And thats when I saw them it was 2 F-22s flying at about treetop level at maybe 1000 miles an hour and then I saw them detach their payload over 6000 pounds of anti personel bombs I ducked and thats when the sound hit me from the jets I covered my ears to try and muffle the sound a bit but to no avail those fucking jets blew out the windows was all I could think pretty soon I found my self screaming "THOSE FUCKS BLEW OUT MY GOD DAMN WINDOWS" I kept damning them but then when the noise died down I popped up like a praire dog

I surveyed the surrounding area for maybe 20 seconds and then said "time to go" and I bolted downstairs I grabbed the keys to my car in the parking garage and ran to it full bore ignoring the zombies I practically got in the car in one move as well as started it and got going

I roared across the parking lot in my '67 galaxie 500 droptop and crashed through the liquer store windows I grabbed everything and if you think I'm joking I'm not I filled up my car and it's giant fucking trunk with smokes and booze of all types

I decided on my way back that I'd kill the remaining zeds later and completly ignore them by now the shamblers were just getting out of the parking lot I hit 3 coming back in but fuck it the galaxie is a 2 ton tank

it took my longer than I thought to unload the car and I almost got it but I had the last box of cigarillos and ran to the elevator right quick cause a runner was right on my ass but as always I made it back up to my room locked up the elevator and took inventory of my stock
here it is:

99 Bottles of Johnny Walker Blue (I love JW Blue)
72 Bottles of jager
250 Bottles of Miller
70 Bottles of Stella Artois
40 Bottles of Bacardi Limon
84 Bottles of Jack Daniels
46 Bottles of Dewars
52 Bottles of Cabernet Souvignon
71 Bottles of Chapagne

Now for the smokes

1,169 Black and Mild Wood Tips
3,000 Marlboro Lights
7,200 New Ports
600 of the crem de la crem The hand rolled Cubans oh dear god I smoked one as soon as I found out I had a box
12,000 cedar cigar matches

Well that was probably the greatest haul ever now if you excuse me I have a liver and lungs to destroy

*lights cigar and pour JW into coffee cup*