Shootmenow's Celebrity Zombie (Un)DeathMatch!

Comment

Comment by Shootmenow on April 2, 2012 at 9:36pm

........Sorry for the delay, it looks like we're about ready to continue. Dr. West says that both fighters sustained some injuries, but that he was able to patch them up. They should be coming back out any moment now.....

......Unbelievable!!!, The Crypt Keeper has had his right arm replaced with the arm of Jason Vorhees! He now seems able to hack with the machete like a pro. And, Father McGruder, it looks like his hand and lower arm have been replaced with pieces of his lawnmower! It's like Ash's chainsaw hand, but worse!

Both fighters tear into each other again. It seems like Father McGruder is having a hard time keeping his balance, while The Crypt Keeper seems to have lost much of his agility. Father McGruder also seems to be losing a lot of blood. As if sensing he doesn't have much time, McGruder makes a desperate swing at The Crypt Keeper- missing badly and throwing himself completely off balance. The Crypt Keeper sees his opening and goes for the killing blow. As he moves in, though, he slips on some of Father McGruder's blood and falls toward the spinning blade. Both off balance,... both swinging,..everything is decided in an instant. Father McGruder is cleaved down the side. His lawnmower, along with a good piece of his torso, are laying 5 feet from the rest of him.... but he's still alive!!!. The Crypt Keeper, however, seems to have been less fortunate. The power of the spinning blades, along with the advanced state of decay in his ligaments as a contributing factor, seems to have caused his remains to be thrown in every direction imaginable. His head seems to be completely missing?!

WINNER: Father McGruder!! 

As he is carted off to the operating room (Dr. West assures me that he has something he can give the Father to make him feel better), you can just hear Father McGruder mutter the words (say it with me, folks) "I Kicked Ass,...For The Lord!!!"

Well, That's it! I hope you had as much fun as I did watching these guys go at one another. 

This is Shootmenow for Celebrity Zombie DeathMatch saying GOODNIGHT!!!

Comment by Shootmenow on April 2, 2012 at 8:47pm

Welcome to the Finals of Celebrity Zombie DeathMatch. Tonight's match promises to be epic, so let's get right to it:

Father McGruder (Dead Alive) VS The Crypt Keeper (Tales From The Crypt)

Summary: Father McGruder doesn't waste any time and launches himself, and his lawnmower, at The Crypt Keeper. It looks to be a quick finish until The Crypt Keeper blocks the attack with the severed arm of Jason Vorhees, still holding his machete. Saving them from the last match, the crafty Keeper launches his own attack. Slicing the machete at McGruder, the Father blocks back with the mower and KABLAMMMM!!!

............We apologize for the interruption, everybody, but there appears to have been a small explosion in the arena. It looks like the gas tank on Father McGruder's lawn mower was sliced into by Jason's machete, wielded by The Crypt Keeper. Both fighters are currently down as our staff, headed by Dr. Herbert West takes a look at them.

We hope to be back later with the conclusion of the match, stay tuned!!!

Comment by Shootmenow on April 1, 2012 at 8:06pm

Evening, Folks. Shootmenow here with the Semi-Final results and a preview of tomorrow's Final Match!

Here's the Semi-Final Results:

Left Bracket: Father McGruder (Dead Alive) VS Hare Krishna Zombie (DOTD)
Summary: The Hare Krishna Zombie's luck finally runs out as Father McGruder does his best Gallagher and the watermelon impersonation with the Krishna's body parts and our studio audience.
WINNER: Father McGruder!

Right Bracket: Darryl (The Walking Dead) VS The Crypt Keeper (Tales From The Crypt)
Summary: The Crypt Keeper does a good job at first of dodging crossbow bolts and hurling one liners back at Darryl, but Darryl is finally able to pin him to a tree. Darryl goes to deliver the final blow....when all of a sudden the Templar's Horse from the earlier match comes galloping back into the arena! Jason is nowhere to be seen, except the stump of his arm still holding his machete. Remembering his last experience with a horse, Darryl is momentarily distracted. In the chaos, The Crypt Keeper is able to grab the machete from the horse and plant it into Darryl before he can recover!
Winner: The Crypt Keeper!

So, Here's your Finals Match-Up:  

Father McGruder (Dead Alive) VS The Crypt Keeper (Tales From The Crypt)

There's only two fighters left. Who will be the winner of Celebrity Zombie (Un)DeathMatch?

Find Out Tomorrow!

Comment by Shootmenow on March 31, 2012 at 11:54pm

Welcome Back! Tonight we will start with the Quarter-Final results and finish with the Semi-Final Match-Ups Quarter-Final Results:

Left Bracket North: Father McGruder (Dead Alive) VS Zombie Shane (The Walking Dead)
Summary: Zombie Shane has a "Bub" moment and tries to remember how to use his gun. Unfortunately for Shane, since the only zombie he can see at the moment is himself, he gets confused and shoots himself in the head.
WINNER: Father McGruder!

Left Bracket South: Hare Krishna Zombie (DOTD) VS Herzog (Dod Sno)
Summary: Herzog has his way with the Hare Krishna Zombie for most of the match, actually toying with the slow moving fellow. It doesn't look good for the little guy, until the studio lights start thawing Herzog a bit too much, then it doesn't look good for anybody as Hezog has a literal meltdown in front of the studio audience (not a good smell).
WINNER: Hare Krishna Zombie

Right Bracket North: Darryl (The Walking Dead) VS Lady Gaga (Top 40 Garbage)
Summary: Darryl makes the mistake of hesitating to shoot something that may not actually be dead. This gives Gaga the chance to start singing. The only thing that saves Darryl is that he has become used to tuning out annoying women. As he puts a bolt into Gaga, you can hear him say "Thanks, Olive Oil".
WINNER: Darryl

Right Bracket South: The Crypt Keeper (Tales From The Crypt) VS Zombie Templar (Tombs of the Blind Dead)
Summary: In a great back and forth match, The Crypt Keeper slowly gets the upper hand when his loud cackling begins to damage the Templar's hearing. Being blind, and now nearly deaf, the Templar eventually falls to The Crypt Keeper's constant jabs- both physical and verbal.
WINNER: The Crypt Keeper!


I'll be honest folks, I'm surprised some of these guys are still around. Regardless, GIVE IT UP for your Final 4!!!

Here's the Semi-Final Match-Ups:

Left Bracket: Father McGruder (Dead Alive) VS Hare Krishna Zombie (DOTD)

Right Bracket: Darryl (The Walking Dead) VS The Crypt Keeper (Tales From The Crypt)



Well, That's it for tonight folks. Tune back in tomorrow to see who sticks around and who gets stuck in the ground!!

Comment by Shootmenow on March 30, 2012 at 4:58pm

Welcome Back to Celebrity Zombie DeathMatch, Everybody! Tonight we're going to post the results from the First Round, as well as list the Round Two Matches.


Left Bracket North-Group A: Henrietta (Evil Dead 2) VS Zombie Shane (The Walking Dead)
Summary: Henrietta has things under control until Zombie Shane throws Zombie Otis in front of himself and distracts her, allowing Zombie Shane to get the victory.
WINNER: Zombie Shane!

Left Bracket North-Group B: Father McGruder (Dead Alive) VS Justin Bieber (Top 40 Garbage)
Summary: The Biebs tries running around for a while, but ultimately slips on some of his own hair mousse and fallsright into Father McGruder's lawnmower.
WINNER: Father McGruder!

Left Bracket South-Group A: Tarman (ROTLD) VS Herzog (Dod Sno)
Summary: Tarman makes the first move and quickly goes to bite down on Herzog's melon, but busts his teeth on the Nazi's steel plated hat. It's all over after that.
WINNER: Herzog!

Left Bracket South-Group B: Ash (Evil Dead 2) VS Hare Krishna Zombie (DOTD)
Summary: In perhaps the biggest upset of the night, Ash falls to the Hare Krishna Zombie after forgetting his boomstick and chainsaw at the local strip club.
WINNER: Hare Krishna Zombie!


Right Bracket North-Group A: Darryl (The Walking Dead) VS Bub (DayOTD)
Summary: In a close one, Darryl gets the win when Bub is distracted by his favorite song on his headphones. Darryl's crossbow bolt actually pins them to Bub's head!
WINNER: Darryl!

Right Bracket North-Group B: Shark Fighting Zombie (Zombi 2) VS Lady Gaga (Top 40 Garbage)
Summary: Showing no emotion when he fought the shark, this Zombie shows true fear when confronted with Gaga. His head actually explodes when she starts singing.
WINNER: Lady Gaga!

Right Bracket South-Group A: The Crypt Keeper (Tales From The Crypt) VS Trash (ROTLD)
Summary: Trash makes the predictable move of going for the Crypt Keeper's brains. Thinking ahead, he leaves his brains in the crypt and replaces them with a bloody grenade. Trash realizes her mistake only after she swallows.
WINNER: The Crypt Keeper!

Right Bracket South-Group B: Jason Vorhees (Friday the 13th Series) VS Zombie Templar (Tombs of the Blind Dead)
Summary: In another upset, Jason is defeated when he accidentally gets his machete stuck in the Templar's horse and is drug away, thus giving the Zombie Templar the victory by default.
WINNER: Zombie Templar!

Congratulations to the Winners! Now we have the Round Two Match-Ups:

Left Bracket North: Father McGruder (Dead Alive) VS Zombie Shane (The Walking Dead)

Left Bracket South: Hare Krishna Zombie (DOTD) VS Herzog (Dod Sno)

Right Bracket North: Darryl (The Walking Dead) VS Lady Gaga (Top 40 Garbage)

Right Bracket South: The Crypt Keeper (Tales From The Crypt) VS Zombie Templar (Tombs of the Blind Dead)


Well, That's it for tonight folks. Tune back in tomorrow to see who sticks around and who gets stuck in the ground!!