River's Edge Dispatch April 5th, 2007

River's Edge Dispatch April 5th, 2007

Rodents Infest Downtown

Rodents and small animals of all types have been gathering near and in down town. “It really smells bad down here” and “I don’t know what’s going on but I can tell you people are not happy.” are just some of the comments being made by citizens that regularly visit the downtown area. “It’s horrible another commented.” Animal control has been on the job for 2 days now. Gus Allworth, an animal control officer commented earlier today “Some of these animals look very emaciated. I’ve seen this before and I can tell you this problem won’t last till the end of the week. Yah, they should definitely be dead then. My only worry is rabies.” Professors at the University of Animal Science have been performing autopsies on the captured rodents. They have yet to comment on the results.
Reports of animal attacks have risen in the past few days due to the congregating animals। Hospital emergency rooms are filling up with bite victims. “Rabies is our main concern...” Dr. Phillip Waxman tells us. “We definitely have a problem that’s not going away anytime soon.” A mandatory curfew is in effect starting tonight at seven pm. until further notice. Residents are being asked to stay indoors for the time being.

-Birch F.


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