YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!
really fucking depressed
The anniversary of my friends suicide was a few days ago,it sucked bigtime.
My friend steph had a baby girl today,lucky her...i'm so broody and its making me depressed as fuck,add to that my twin daughters birth and death date being on the 29th of this month...i havent really stopped crying for most of this month...at least,not on the inside
My family has decided to all come over on the 25th for my sisters birthday,she'll be 7,i have to plan a weekend of "fun!"
Personally I think my mum has decided to try and distract me
I want to die
I hate september.
If it werent for bella i'd probably take every pill I could find in the house
Anyhoo,i'm not selfish enough to do it,i just need to get it off my chest,sorry for the rant
Xxxxxxx
Zoe
P.s bella yelled "shit!" in the middle of asda's today
Views: 81
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Comment by monkeycstars (cassandra) on September 19, 2011 at 3:19am
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feel better and rest up girlie...
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Comment by kasumalley on September 18, 2011 at 5:27pm
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PS The food sounds awesome! :)
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Comment by Black Plague on September 18, 2011 at 5:08pm
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Hey girl. I wanted to say that I'm glad you at least got on here to talk about how you feel. Sometimes the way we feel isn't pleasant, but you can't just make it go away and if you sit and feel that way by yourself it's the worst. It's better to speak up so you can hear how much you're loved and needed. I know that everyone here cares for ya. I even put you on my "hottest WZ ladies list" because you're super cool! I really hope you find some peace this month and that you and Bella just get through everything. Because you're right, she NEEDS her mommy. You can always message me if you need someone to talk to you. We're here for you! HUGS!!!! XOXO
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Comment by Zydrate Zoe on September 18, 2011 at 6:55am
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Thank you all for your support and showing me so much love.i was crying my eyes out last night but bless paul,he knows how to cheer me up,he put russell howard on the tv,gave me cuddles and a bag of mini doughnuts.
I'm feeling a bit less suicidal this morning,although I am exhausted thanks to miss bella not wanting to sleep til 3am!,so today i'm gonna test a few recipes out(red velvet cupcakes,savoury turkey and mushroom muffins and turkey sausage rolls,incase you're wondering why all the turkey its cos my stoopid brother doesnt eat pork) in preparation for leahs birthday next week...
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I'll pray for you too, and I hope ur spirits get lifted somehow...
I'll be sending some LOVE
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Let the Zombies come and be so busy we won't give a fuck about the world.
You know you have us here to talk to! Be strong Pretty lady!
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Maybe in a few years it wont be so bad but right now,my friend asha's death is still raw enough to hurt and my babies tara and gabriella would've been 3,if they'd lived.it feels like my heart is just breaking all over again.i want so badly to sleep until it stops hurting,or at least until its october...i'm having a hard time holding it together.
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Comment by Komrad Venessa Wicked☭ on September 17, 2011 at 9:57am
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I will keep you and you loved ones in my Prayer.
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Comment by Komrad Wayne on September 17, 2011 at 3:00am
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aww...damn that sounds like alot to deal with, you obviously a strong woman tho!!! hold your head up, God bless babe, WZ fam, we here for you!
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