Not My Last Words

Dear amazing friends who have been reading my blog posts,

Thank you very much. I hope I have not worried any of you. 

There has been a long silence from me not because it is summer, but because I have been, and still am, battling some harsh depression and stress. Complaining has been something I've been doing often, but I try really hard to limit it, because no one wants to be complained to often and a lot. It gets tiresome. And not only that, but I don't want to complain when I don't have it as bad as I could. 

Although, I do understand this, it could be worse, but it could also be better. That is something to keep in mind, and everyone has it as bad as they do. It matters not if you think it isn't enough to warrant these types of feelings, but rather how it weighs upon the shoulders of another.

I understand my situation. What happened and the things I'm feeling now is nothing to take my life over. I have a future to look forward to, and though the path is rough now, eventually I may look back and laugh thinking "Oh, the aches and pains of childhood!" Even though I understand that, the feelings won't leave. Even though I know perfectly well that suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. 

I do understand, but even so, it isn't enough. It's a step in the right direction, but I still have a long way to go before I am out of this mess. Talking to people and not keeping all of it to myself is another step I have taken. And even though I am doing so, it doesn't really seem to lesson my stress. How can I further progress? It's easy to say "Just let it go." Oh yes, it's easy, but I have no idea how to let it go. And until I learn how to help myself, and just let it go, I don't know if it's really possible to take anymore steps forward.