My Role in the Great Collapse.6a

A.

I spent that night in the Warehouse. Tucked deeper into the building I found both a office trailer and mobile home. Strapping on my LED headband I made sure the area was secure then went to sleep on top of the office Trailer. Waking well before dawn I ate some sardines and took out my mending kit. In the mobile home the night before I found a corpse on the couch with a shotgun in it’s lap and what was left of it’s head on the wall. The bedroom carried more promise as I found a pretty summer dress made of nice yellow floral pattern cotton. My little sewing job took me a bit longer than I thought it would but I found it to be a nice break from the usual mundane routine of surviving the apocalypse.
The sun had been awake for almost an hour by the time I left the warehouse. I wondered if I should go back the way I came or brave a new route. I began heading towards the sun, mentally singing lonely teardrops, a song I’ve always loved so a new route due east seemed the way to go. Anticipation I figured. Exactly the feeling parents felt the night before Christmas I was sure.
My good spirits hadn’t left me vulnerable as I was suddenly aware of the presence of at least a couple of ghouls over the hill directly in front of me. I had developed what I considered the Ninjas preternatural senses. Sharpened to a razors edge these two years I had been living on the corpse of the planet earth. Immediately I crouched down, got myself to the birth of the tiny hill and listened for clues to my enemies numbers. I put them at a maximum of three so quietly drawing my sword I prepared for war.
I read somewhere that a true warrior must take no more than seven breaths to decide a course of action then act. I counted six breaths then charged up the hill.
Maybe what I read was to take seven breaths to decide and not necessarily to act because as I stood on top of the hill I looked down on what must have been at least thirty rotten stenches, all turning their heads in exact unison and fixing their dead cataract covered lenses directly at me.
As a ninja I’ve been tooting my horn too much I thought.
For the moment I just stood there, dumbfounded in the bright morning sun. Oddly enough they just stood there too; as if they couldn’t believe they were seeing what they were looking at, as if they thought anything at all. I’m the choirmaster and my choir intends to eat me I thought. The thought made me smile though short lived as it was roughly pushed out of my mind and replaced with ‘WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO?’
No choice but to fight and run then run and fight I thought. I once took out thirteen zombies in a parking lot outside a coffee shop. The same shop I left my machete in. I could have gotten my machete back if I felt like bashing her head right in but I wanted out of the shop before I got boxed in. Thirteen’s not half as much as thirty and though I was in shape I was well winded when I was done. More were coming too but I took my luck with me and ran.
These ones began to advance. I descended the hill and straight poked the first two in an eye each then backed up and tried to see some sort of strategy. On second thought maybe forty was all I came up with. I Poked another three in the eyes pushing my kills up to five so far. Not bad I thought but their spreading out and if I don’t do something quick they’ll swallow me up. A slash across my left then right at just above eye level dropped another wave though a one-time child got dangerously close enough to receive a kick in the face.
I turned and ran back a good ways and the crowd seemed to pull together at that. Noticing that I ran towards them while they were thick and sliced across their heads again and must have finished off another six or so. This was going to take all day and that’s only if I don’t wind up part of the gang I thought. I backed away again.
By now I was back in the parking lot of the Warehouse and did not like the situation at all. This area was somewhat built up and it wouldn’t take any time at all for every ghoul around to join ranks and turn a forty into a four hundred. DAMMIT!! What about them never knowing me and all my bullshit I thought. I sheathed my sword and drew my pistols. I have to run. I’ll run north the way I came the day before then down the trail. I was worried that if I…. Wait a minute. Strategy found. I ran to the Warehouse door I exited from. Making damn sure they saw me I opened the door and stood there, I popped only the ones too far ahead for their own good.
Nowadays your average Zed was filthy, rotten and dry looking. They aren’t the sort to get prettier I thought. Oddly enough the more time passed and the less they smelled. I guess they dried up and then their insides became more like dry mud then rotten meat. Or even a sort of undead jerky. I smiled at that one. These are the thoughts that went through my mind as I stood at the door waiting for them to close the gap.
The crowd got close enough for me to hop into the building. Popping this one then that one I led them on a slow tour of the building, loudly explaining to them exactly why I would always win and they would always lose. The only argument back was a moan here and there. Making sure a bullet slammed into the heads of any Zed who got too ambitious I completed the circle then calmly making sure it was locked I shut the door behind me. It being a good steel door that opened inward I figured I did quite well. Outside a couple of rebels patrolled the parking lot and I did to them as I would have done to me.
Back to feeling like a competent Ninja I decided to go back the way I came the night before instead of the way I went an hour ago. I impress myself sometimes. Mentally singing Lonely teardrops I left the warehouse lot again only this time I felt sure I was on the right path.