YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!
More of a personal thing... but had a crappy few days...
Hey, so I just found out I do nothing but cause trouble.... Absolutely nothing... Go me...
Yep... apparently... or so says my father anyways...
yeah... you just get tired of hearing that your nothing sometimes...
IDK... your dad isn't suppose to say stuff like that ya know...
I had to learn at a young age not to give a damn what people thought about me and everyone thought it was because I was the geeky girl but it wasn't. It was because my dad would always say stuff like to me when no one was around. Then when they were he never knew what the hell I was talking about. Not a lot about that situation has changed over the years. Other then I have just learned to avoid him.
It doesn't matter how old you get you still don't want your parents to say things like that to you or thing them. Especially not on a frequent basis.
At the same time it baffles him about why it took me so long to find my path in life. Its not that easy when the people who are suppose to be loving you and supporting you no matter what tell you that you nothing all the time.... and what is worse is no one stops him because no one wants to get involved. I grew up feeling like I deserved to be treated like crap because i was nothing and it took me so long to realize that it wasn't true. If I am really honest with myself I still don't know that all the time now...
What I do know is my little boy isn't going to grow up thinking that for one second.
Sorry about going on. Needed to vent. To this day I know no one who can fuck you up worse then you family can... This one happened because I felt that making a jungle gym safer for my 18 month old son was more important then a patch of grass. Nothing knew though...Blah
You know I have been in and out of 4 abusive relationship in my 28 years. Even the worst of them ( Which take my word on it, IT WAS REALLY BAD! ) didn't hurt half a much as a single negative word from my family....
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Comment by Velma Giggle Wink on June 10, 2012 at 10:29pm
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Yep they should def form a club... I wish your real dad could have been there. Maybe he would have got right for you. Either way you seamed to turn out great despite all efforts to the counter...
I get what you mean by just a taste... Not nearly a forth of the crappy shit my dad did to me growing up. There was a reason I was attracted to abusive assholes after all.
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Comment by KOMRAD RHINO☭ on June 10, 2012 at 8:40am
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my dad died six months after my birth. so until i was sixteen years old all i had in my world for a (and i use this term loosely) father figure. and trust me when i say he was NO better then your dad. mom had a shit attack when she found out he introduced her at the time ten year old son to the 4F club. she didnt find this out until i was like 33 years old. i never talked much about him. and the 4F club was his outlook on the female side of the human race. it stood for Find them, Feel them F*** them, then Forget about them. being i knew what he was even at the age of ten. i knew not to follow his example. at ten years old i was smarter then the average bear. lol. now you know why i said that your dad and my grandfather needed to go bowling together. GREAT GRANDPA huh? lol. that was only a short taste of what i grew up with for a father figure. lol.
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Thank you sweetie... It just gets really old and its the one thing you can't do anything about. Or I can't... He is good to my son and Bug loves his Papa... I am sorry your daddy wasn't there. That must have sucked also. I appreciate you trying to relate! :) Your to sweet! :) XOXOXO right back at ya! :)
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Comment by Komrad Wayne on June 8, 2012 at 7:09pm
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sorry babes. My father was never in my life at all, different I know, but still sucked. xoxoxo
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AWWW!!! your one of my favs also sweetie :) *MUAH*
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anytime. you are one of my favorite girls. :)
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ill try and keep that in mind... and thank you for the support sweetie
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sounds like your dad and my grandfather needed to get together and go bowling. my grandfather was that same kind of asshole. the best way to defeat them is to not avoid them but to do all you can to prove them wrong. and in my opinion. from what i know of you. you have more then done that. pay him no further thought. so when he starts on you. ask him what he has done in his life that makes him so much better then you. when he goes silent, you will have won.
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