Me, unsensable rant

I'm still around...Still fighting that lonely demon, but I've faced that demon many times...But that I'm actual alone, I miss the simple things that comes with being together with someone...The talking, the laughter, the feeling of warmth from holding your special someone, the simple sent of them lingering after they leaves the house, the taste of their lips, the tender ways they hold you in the darkness and the way they fall asleep on your arm while watching TV...

   I reach out through the darkness wanting, waiting and hoping for a warm hand to reach out and pull me through into the light of being part of something once again...Then the coldness and reality of the true world steps in and says, "You are alone, lets see you fight this demon on your own."

   Well, I keep getting knocked down and dropped to one knee from time to time, but I'm still here you sonuvabitch...I'm fighting and will never stop...No matter how lonely this world because for me, I know I have the will to not only push on, but to battle the entire darkness of this world...

   Most people say I'm not ready to move on yet...Most say I need more time...Look, I'm not one that deals or live on the past...My wife and me had 13 years to be together and we made a life for ourselves...

   Me and the wife had our time, even though I wish I could have taken her place, I know she wouldn't want me to just totally shutdown and steer clear of the world out there...She would want me back in the fight and kicking ass...So on December 2 of 2014 I want every one to raise a glass to my wife who was a strong and stubborn women and always had my back, even if I was wrong, raise a glas of whatever you have and toast the life and celebrate with me in rememberance of a Mother, a friend, a lover, a wife and most of all a good person all around...

   I know most of this blog doesn't make sense, but it makes sense to me...