martyr's mirror

could a mere utterance

reawaken forsaken memories
bring back a part of me she condemned
make my front the back ruining everything i've
fought fixed familiarized feigned and fucked
to drown in loss to
lose count of my blessings
forget my name
hide the truth in a lie
black out my eyes
kill my god
forget to pray
to breathe
to live
lord of fLies 
drowner of man 
unquenchable thirst
back stabbing blood lust
energy devouring child molestor
rapist tempest succubi whore
never knowing that less is more
that more is less and death is best
when you are done 
only when you're in (the know)
that you are me we are one 
then the ghost 
evaporates dissipates it disappears
and you know we 
were never truly here
in the present absence of the son
who waits in his room crying-choking-bleeding-scared
awating the father to tuck him in and ensure
that pillates and monsters are not under the bed
reinsuring the child
that this is all just in his head