Jubilee Beach- The Briefing. Phase 1 and 2.

And so it was that I was sat at the table in the ready room and, with the exception of Nana, Joy and Lloyd, with all the people I've mentioned previously to discuss what we were going to do about the pre-"rehabitation" clearance of Jubilee Beach.
As I've mentioned before there are 37 of us plus myself. Nana, Joy and the Rat Fuck don't fight so that makes 34 to divvy up for battle.

After the call came through me and Wanker dug out what maps we could find of the area, including local ordnance survey of the beach that it was all going to happen on. This contained information on whether the ground was shingle, sand, gravel, etc and where.
We also tapped into the local weather predictions and the high/low tide times.
I know the area pretty well so I could see in my head not only where the tactical advantages would be, but also the shit we had to keep an eye on to prevent a blind side attack. After we'd gone through the area layout Wanker left me to it.

This was the way it always was.
Alone, I would go through every option and scenario in my head, discounting any glaring errors and running over everything that may be of benefit to our success (and survival), until all potential fuck ups revealed themselves and were discounted and I was finally left with a fool-proof plan that was easy to execute and with the minimum of fuss.

After 4 and a quarter hours of cogitating and ruminating, planning and re-planning and ending with the Mother of all fucking headaches I called for my (Shit... I'll have to call them something for the sake of reference. But what!? Generals? Commanders? I prefer to save all that military shit for the Squads. Maybe I'll just go with...) Chief Headhunters.

Wanker, Rampage, Spook, and Gobby were with me in a couple of minutes.
"Get comfy, fellas" I said when they arrived, and with my usual touch of cynicism I added- "This is a good one".

When everyone was settled I started.

"As usual, the objective is to clear as many remaining zeds as time allows for re-habitation so the appointed Marshall of this chrome plated, shitty little suburb has an easy life."

(The Marshall is usually a recently "promoted" member of the evacuated civilianship from the town was emptied and they're usually a former policeman or "person of standing" respected by the town's people. They might already be armed with their own firearms, but if not they'll be supplied by the Squads with a full-automatic P-O-S machine gun. One day they might fucking realise that a semi-automatic carbine is an infinitely superior weapon for their needs but until then they can get as Full Metal Jacket as they like, for all I gave a shit.)

I could tell Rampage wasn't happy even before we'd sat down.

He said "Am I correct in thinking we're gonna be fighting on a motherfucking beach!?"
"It's not as bad as it sounds, Mo" I assured him. "Wanker and I have looked at the topographics and the section where the action's going to happen is hard sand."
"What this means is, because of the way we train, we can fight on this type of ground but our enemy will hopefully be losing their footing to some extent."
"Paddles?" asked Spook.
"At the rear, yes." I replied.

Spook is the only member of our Famliy adept at both the machete and the Paddle.
The Paddle is another genius weapon forged for us by Tongs. I'll try to describe it-
The handle is a 3 1/2foot long metal pole welded to a blade. The blade is shaped like a long triangle, 4" wide at the base, 18" long and sharpened on both sides. The tip cut off to leave a 2" wide chisel-like tip.
It's a mid-range weapon, perfect for outdoor melees and the tip made it an excellent thrusting weapon. Aimed at the throat the chisel tip is thrust forward, cutting through the neck and if it doesn't slip between the vertabrae to sever the spinal cord it will shatter the vertabrae with the same result.
It's an effective weapon for the one's who might lack the strength or stamina to wield a machete for any length of time.
It is also perfect for the inevitable crawlers that we would be facing with this particular tactic.

"Spook, you'll take the rear with the Paddles. Mo, you're at front with the Machetes."
They both nodded, silently.

"Wanker, Mr Full-Bore will take center stage from the van with me and Shotgun Trevor up top on Protection and the two-ways."

I could see Gobby was getting shifty and fidgetting in his seat. He wanted to know what he would be doing so, just to wind him up, I said "Any questions?"
"Hang on Bolo, what about us, fella, eh? What're we fucking doing? Not fucking with the vegetables again mate, come on!? That's fucking.." I raised my hand with a sly smile, just to let him know I was messing with him.
"wanker..." he said.
"That makes two of us." said Wanker.

"Gobby" I said "This is your time to shine, mate. The success of every phase of this game relies on you two, and more importantly, it relies on you two doing exactly what you are told. Is that clear?"
"Alright, yeah?" said Gobby, looking pissed off. He didn't like sticking to the rules.
I repeated "Gobby, is that absolutely fucking clear?"
"Yes." he said.
"Okay" I said, satisfied with his compliance. "You two will be head of Phases 1 and 2- Pre-clearance."
"Fucking YES!!" he shouted.
He always wanted pre-clearance, it was close-in, it was fucking dangerous, and it was even more opportunity to live up to the name of the "Suicidal Fucks".
"You'll need your bikes fully guzzed and you'll be taking your tool kit, chains and padlocks. Now usually I'm telling you to tone it down but for this mission I want you to make as much fucking noise as possible, shouting, revving, the works, all the time you're out there, okay?"
Gobby nodded, and I swear I've never seem him so happy... the freak.

"Phase One will see you two start at the North end of the beach, there's a large public toilet there. It should be locked. If it is, gain entry and clear, simple. If not, there could be anything between 0 and 20 zeds estimated inside." I told him. "Do your thing in there, and once you've called that in as clear and locked down, ride on to the sand and raise merry Hell , plenty of noise, all the way to the South end for Phase Two."

I addressed Spook. "Once the toilet is clear, you'll move in with your people, quietly, and wait for the word. Keep your people on the inside but you stay on the outside by the door to top any zeds that haven't followed Gobby's noise and get too close for comfort, okay?"
Spook nodded "Okay Bolo."
I spoke to Gobby again, "Phase Two. At the South end there's an aquatic centre. Lowest estimate 10 zeds, highest estimate 30-40 zeds but not too condensed. Gain entry through the rear kitchen door. When you're in, do what you do best and when your happy that there are no zeds left in the building call it in as cleared and lock up the entry point. This is where Rampage will be moving his people in, in preparation for the final phase, but you'll be taking care of Phase Three at that point."

I looked Gobby square in the face, "Are you good so far, mate?"
"No fucking worries, mate, yeah. Me and him'll fucking sort it." he said, still grinning.

And as I looked at him with this almost childish happiness on his face at the thought of the amount of carnage required from him I thought "Fuck me, I'm putting the lives of everybody here in the hands of these two nutters." And I couldn't help thinking if I'd made the right call.

It'll be interesting, to say the least.