Freddy Valler--3

   Elf girl glanced at my picture and raised an eyebrow with a very unladylike snort. "Really? What is he, Van Helsing?"

   "Hardly. Van Helsing wasn't a disgusting pig. Most times." Well, he wasn't until he turned into a drunk and tried to hump anything with two legs and boobs. And sometimes even without the boobs.

   "So I suppose you know him personally, right?" I grinned at her, though I think it was more like bearing teeth.

   "Of course. That's my job." Well, was my job...

   "You know what, Valler? I think you've gone around the bend one too many times."

   "So, what? I'm crazy? Do I need to see the men in the white coats?"

   Again, that snort. Really unattractive. "Maybe the veterinarian. He might be able to give you a rabies shot. Or... Hmmm.... Obviously, your uncle isn't very good at his job, since you need to be exorcised or something. I mean, vampires? Really? Those were out a long time ago."

    "And what do demons have to do with drawing?"

   "Aren't vampires and demons practically the same?"

   "Um, no. Vampires suck blood, demons supposedly come from hell. Though there is the incubus, which is a demon's and vampire's offspring."

   Elf Girl gave me a weird look. "Um, you know, I was kidding about you being crazy, but now I'm not so sure..."

   I tried to cover my ass, realizing maybe I said too much. I mean, what normal teenager spouts out stuff about vampire lore? So I just shrugged. "Hey, I read a lot. I had to keep entertained somehow, since I was home schooled and didn't really know anybody."

   "What? Were your parents shut-ins or something?"

   "Or something, yeah. Well, just my dad."

   "And your mom?"

   I hesitated, and shrugged again. "Dead."