YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!
"EFFIGIES" excerpt...Chapter One
Chapter 1
“So …are you still looking for Giant Size Amazing War Action number one, Andy?” the freckled, heavyset boy with the blue Mohawk asked.
“Always, and I’ll probably be looking the rest of my life the way it’s going. It’s a tough number to have at the top of a want list. It’s just an independent one-shot comic with a low print run that was done back in 1974. I’ve been looking for it since I was a kid, but there are not a lot of shops or comic shows out Genoa way.”
Brian chuckled. “Since you were a kid, huh? When was that…like fifteen minutes ago? I guess since you just turned fourteen you’re an adult now. So, what’s the big deal about it? Is it worth a lot of money or something like that?”
“No, it just means a lot to me. It’s the first and ONLY appearance of the Dark Archer. Before he died, my father told me that the whole issue is really about my uncle Ho Van Tran- back when he was in Vietnam during the last days of the war. He was about our age then and he like…did some real heroic stuff and saved a lot of people during the fall of Saigon, with just a home-made bow and arrows.”
“You’re uncle sounds pretty freaking awesome! I still can’t believe he let you come see me with all this crap going on around here.”
“He doesn’t know I’m here, and he is still pretty awesome with a bow and he’s also the engineer that designed that cool crossbow that you’re always drooling over. I don’t really know his War story, but I want to read it and then give the comic book to Ho. He doesn’t even know it exists. A good friend of his from back in those days called Charlie Chopper was there and saw it all. He was flying an independent Good Samaritan helicopter transporting people to hospitals or out of red zones. Charlie wrote, drew and published it as a tribute to Ho after the war, when he got back to the states. Is that pretty cool, or what? Only they didn’t print too many because there wasn’t a lot of demand for Vietnamese heroes back then, or ever for that matter. How was your luck at the big comic show at the airport last month?” Andy asked, following his friend up the stairs to his bedroom.
Brian didn’t answer, stopping on the stairwell landing and making the sign of the cross in front of his chest in front of Evil Neon Jesus. That’s what Andy called the tacky, bright plastic fluorescent light box with the yellow neon frame surrounding a very dark and abstract portrait of Christ and crossing himself like that was a daily ritual.
This was not the handsome, dignified Barry Gibb-Jim Caviezel lookalike Jesus that adorned most homes but instead, a very dark, Frazetta-esque sweat soaked, anguish filled Christ complete with torn loincloth, disheveled hair, and a hideous crown of thorns adorning his bloody scalp. His hands were nailed to the cross with what looked like railroad spikes and blood ran down both tautly stretched arms, onto His chest and down His left leg. At the base of the picture, below the Lord’s feet were inscribed the words “Fear God and Obey His Commandments.” Even more frightening was the dark, haunting ‘I am feeling the pain of the entire world’ eyes.
Honestly, the picture gave Andy the real creeps, making him overly aware of the Ten Commandments to the point of memorization and it had been the inspiration of many nightmares over the years.
Brian and his family had extreme taste or a more probable, a complete lack of it. Andy wasn’t quite sure which to call it, but it made them unique and interesting for sure. Whatever, they were still his ‘second parents’ and he loved them dearly for their wacky or was it tacky eccentricities and their good hearts, among so many other things.
“The comic show was lucky for me, dude. I got thirty pristine mint copies of Metalmaniac #1. That book is going to hit twenty bucks a copy in a couple months, you watch! Step into my laboratory, young man and don’t mind the mess. Mom’s not feeling very good the last few days and hey…if she’s not riding my butt all the time, my room doesn’t get too clean.”
“Metalmaniac? Man Bri… that guy is the lamest of the lame lamers,” Andy teased.
“Is not…” Brian argued, giving his pal a playful shove, “I’ll bet Annie digs Metalmaniac. Maybe even as much as a certain Vietnamese version of Harry Potter I know! I’ll never figure out how come babes like her always like you skinny sensitive dudes instead of us manly men.”
“Oh stop it, will you? Annie likes horror comics like me and she’s just…we’re just friends. Metalmaniac on the other hand is just totally lame and you’re going to give all us comic book geeks a bad rap buying multiple copies of crap like that, Bri.”
“Bull! The dude’s got the power of invisibility, super speed, chrome armor that can flame up on the outside and has metal wings to fly. Metalmaniac shoots laser beams out of his eyes, can teleport through walls and has astromanium claws that can cut through anything. Best of all…issue one’s a special limited edition, wraparound chromium 3-D cover with glasses included. THAT is NOT lame, nutsack!”
“It sure IS lame, unless you like looking at crap in three dimensions with cardboard glasses on. Did you ever look inside that rag, Bri? All they did was give Metalmaniac the combined powers of about every other superhero out there. He talks in nothing but clichés and the comic looks like it’s written by first graders and drawn by a blind guy with really bad arthritis. Dude, you bought thirty pieces of chromium covered, special edition 3D ass-wipe.”
“Screw you very much, Andy, and I hope your Uncle Ho kicks your butt for skipping out on him.”
“I’m sure he will.”
“Good, and Metalmaniac is freaking awesome and you know it. Hey, you want to go to the wrestling match tomorrow night at Hamilton High? My man, the champ, the one and only King Kong Cole is defending the Midwest Wresting Association Heavyweight belt against Mad Max Manson. Billy’s going.”
“Nah…I can’t. I have to get back home on the afternoon train out of LaGrange tomorrow or Uncle Ho’s WILL kick my butt, if he isn’t planning on it already. There’s stuff going on back there too, like here…like everywhere.”
Brian looked genuinely disappointed.
“Besides, we both know that wrestling is fake and you still go get your hair cut and colored up like Cole. You guys are like the only two losers on the planet with that hair style, and Manson is like what…a hundred years old now?”
“Well screw you very much again. Billy and I both think it’s a totally awesome haircut, and like you’d know what was cool anyway, you Genoa Hillbilly Gook. Maybe I’ll ask Annie and see if she wants to see the matches.”
Andy blushed at his best friend’s comeback wit. “Okay, now that we have all that on the record, I need to get real serious with you because that was probably the last comic show or wrestling match or maybe anything fun that you or I will ever see again.”
Brian’s expression wavered for just a couple seconds after hearing Andy’s serious tone.
“I’ve got some unbelievable crazy, scary stuff to show you! Sit down over here and make yourself comfortable, Brian. You like…have to see what I’m putting together. You’ll believe, just like me. I guarantee it.”
“C’mon Andy, I thought you were being serious but you’re always saying crap like that and it turns out to be no big deal. Can’t we just go outside and shoot that totally RAD crossbow of yours because right now I’m like…starting to think you oriental dudes get excited about just about anything.”
“Oriental is Chinese, butt-mooch, and this is real deal time, man. Besides, your dad said no more crossbow shooting after we put that hole in his garage wall. Would you just stop and listen for two seconds. Take a look at my video scrapbook and then tell me what it is YOU see. I won’t say a word, fair enough?”
“Alright, but this better be something. You’ve been pounding your chest over it,” the heavyset teen cautioned as he plopped down onto the edge of his bed next to the desk, “Show me what you’ve got on your laptop. But if it sucks, we go down to the park and shoot your bow, deal?”
“You suck at archery and besides, this is sooo going to mess you up, asswipe!”
“Yeah, yeah…like I haven’t heard that one before, nutsack.”
Andy ignored him and powered up his PC.
“Watch and you tell me. I’ve been working on this for like three weeks and I wouldn’t waste that much time on just anything, man. This is scary as hell. You ready to piss your pants, asswipe?”
“Just play the thing already. You’re being such a drama queen and working on boring me to death here, before you even play it, nutsack.”
Andy laughed. “Okay, you asked for it. It all starts with Pegasus One, dude. We come back from Venus with soil and atmosphere samples, the astronauts get sick and then weird, unexplainable stuff starts to happen all over.”
Brian poked his friend in the shoulder. “I thought you weren’t going to say a word. This is nothing but old news, man. Everybody knows our astronaut got sick and the brass bands played for the other ones when they got home. Tell me something I don’t know.”
“But you think you know EVERYTHING, Brian. Just be quiet and listen for a change, okay?
NEW YORK TIMES Saturday, September 29
KENNEDY SPACE CENTER, Orlando, Fla. AP.
After four days of intensive physical examination and final medical clearance, happy Pegasus One astronauts Captain Hilary Adair of England, Major Illeyi Korschenko of Russia, Captain Hyu Lui Yang of China and Major Klaus Burgen of Germany were allowed to return home to their patiently awaiting loved ones.
Ill Pegasus One Commander Colonel George Hollandsworth was being detained at the Kennedy Space Center Medical Center for further examination and treatment of severe flu-like symptoms that he had experienced on the return flight from the Venus mission. He has been under care since the spacecraft arrival at Kennedy on Wednesday, September 27th.
In a brief press conference on Monday, Medical Center officials and NASA officials reiterated that Colonel Hollandsworth is receiving the best of care and that they will continue to update the press of his status.
“Yeah, so. I read the papers too.”
“Bri, you haven’t seen anything yet. That piece of newspaper article is just my intro. I’m just indicating that we brought something back, either through Hollandsworth, the whole crew or the soil and mineral samples that the probe sucked up when it rode around on Venus. Just shut up and watch.”
“Alright already. Jeez, you’re acting like we’re talking Academy award, best picture stuff and it’s just a telling us stuff that everybody already knows anyway.”
“Shut up, asswipe!”
A title appeared and the video began to play.
Video transcript from “Cheshire News at 10” BBC Channel 11
10:11 PM Thursday, October 3
HUGE MAN MAULS LION!
“In a stunning report today, animal trainers found the mauled body of a local celebrity identified as Charles Allison yesterday in the infamous Chester Zoo’s renowned “Kingdom of Caesar” lion enclosure, home of the world’s largest male lion.
The well-loved actor Allison stood 6’8” tall and weighed well over three hundred pounds at the time of his death and was as well known for his ‘Gentle Giant’ personality and appeal as for his award winning comedic role as attorney Everett Mackey on the popular BBC show “The Mighty, Mighty Mackey. However why he was inside the dangerous wild animal habitat remains a mystery. Charles lived in an exclusive flat less than a kilometer from the zoo entrance with his wife, movie actress Claire Billups-Allison. The widow was contacted immediately on film location in France and is claiming a possible kidnapping and foul play. According to Mrs. Billups-Anderson, her husband had been bedridden, very ill with the flu that was going around everywhere and under a doctor’s care. She was adamant that Charles was physically incapable of walking that distance.
It appears as though Allison entered the zoo during the Monday evening non-business hours, prior to feeding time at the zoo. The television star evidently died when his skull was severely fractured by the 728 pound Caesar’s teeth. Due to extenuating circumstances at the scene, an autopsy was immediately ordered by the precinct London Constables Department and the coroner’s report released today further shrouded the strange, mysterious death. It appears as though the time of Allison’s death was placed at about 10:30 am Tuesday morning, shortly after the zoo opened.
Corinne Alston, manager and head trainer at the “Kingdom of Caesar” daily shows disputes this finding, stating to reporters at the scene that quote, “The zoo opens at 10:00 am and Caesar was performing from that time until 5:00 pm when the last show ends. There would have been no way for Allison to enter the enclosure due to steep security, the presence of zoo personnel and myself during this entire timeframe. Of considerable concern to both Alston and other head officials at the zoo were the severe injuries to Caesar. They were quite unwavering in their respective opinion that the enormous fifteen year old lion was actually quite docile and well trained. They firmly believe that even prior to feeding time; Allison would have had to be very aggressive toward the animal to make it attack so fervently.
Astonishingly, judging from the wounds to the animal, it appears as though Mister Allison may have actually used his teeth as well as his hands in defending himself against the huge animal. Caesar was rushed into emergency surgery at the zoo today to stem heavy bleeding from heavy scratches and what both zoo and officials have determined as very large portions of flesh missing from the lion’s stomach and left front leg. Hair and tissue found later inside the mouth and teeth of the deceased prove that Allison did indeed bite the huge predator several times, authorities confirmed. Both the Constable and Coroner’s office stand by their respective findings and a full investigation is underway. Caesar did not survive surgery and the Chester Zoo has elected to suspend operation until they can address internal security and the official investigation is closed. This is Ellen Proctor, BBC News.”
“Yeah, that WAS pretty weird but its BBC and sounds like some kind of hoax or something. You know British television man…Monty Python…”
Andy punched his buddy in the arm. “SHHHHH! There’s a lot more. Just watch…”
Another video began, semi-professionally titled by Andy like the last one, and Brian kept up his playful banter, not giving Andy the serious attention he was striving for.
““Owww! Okay, Okay!” You don’t have to punch me!”
“You are such a wuss. I barely touched you. Can’t you shut up for just a few minutes, watch and listen? This is really important stuff that affects the whole world and you’re just screwing around”
“Shhhhh…How can I hear this Andy, if you keep running your mouth?” Brian laughed.
“Asswipe!”
“Nutsack!”
Video transcript of the “Helena Evening News” Local Channel 34
Friday Oct. 4 6:04 PM
“This is James McNally reporting.
Today a local Montana ranch has become the scene of a strange and very disturbing crime.
The Montana Sherriff’s Office and a representative of the regional division of the Animal Welfare Bureau were called out to the large cattle ranch owned by Otis Wickerstaff about 3 miles west of Helena early Monday morning to investigate the grisly slaughter of at least two dozen head of prime beef stock and injuries of varying severity to more of the Wickerstaff herd.
There have been slaughters of this nature in the region before, usually indicating large predators may have entered the area, or as in 2009, an isolated cult ritual incident. Nothing of this magnitude or indiscretion has ever been recorded in state history and the bizarre circumstances of this crime are under immediate investigation by local authorities.
The Sherriff’s office declined comment at this time but we are very fortunate to be able to speak with Otis Wickerstaff.”
McNally: “Good Morning, Mister Wickerstaff, this is James McNally HEN news. I was wondering what your take is on this bizarre incident at your ranch?”
Wickerstaff: “I’ve never seen or heard anything like this and I’ve been a cattle man since I was a kid. I know you’re going to think I’m off my rocker, but this wasn’t done by any wolf, coyote or bear…that’s for sure. We’ve had a couple of wolves here and there lately…big Greys. Bears? Maybe a Brown, even a Grizzly once in awhile. Look, I’ve hunted them all, and I know what I’m talking about here. The tracks are clear as day after that rain on Sunday and this…it was a bunch of people that did this.
I’ve got shoe prints all over my pasture, bloody handprints on my animals and worst of all…some human teeth stuck in some of the carcasses and a few head that they didn’t kill but…”
“WHOAHHH!” Brian exclaimed. He was shushed once more by Andy.
Wickerstaff: “They bit them…those sick (expletives deleted)…took big chunks out of my animals and just left them to suffer. What kind of person does something like this…? Look, I done my part and talked to you news folks. I got two dozen dead cows to burn and another dozen to put down. You tell the Sheriff to find out who done this…”
The camera cuts to James McNally back in the studio.
McNally: “I wish to apologize, but Mr. Wickerstaff did not wish to continue the interview at that time. Fortunately, HEN was able to speak with a Mister Bill Thornton, a ranch hand that works for Otis Wickerstaff at the scene.”
“This is sooo crazy!” Brian chuckled before receiving another elbow from his friend.
“Shut up!”
Camera cuts back to McNally’s studio.
McNally: “Mister Thornton…what are your thoughts on the horrible incident at the ranch?”
Thornton: “It was those Brownies, I tell you!”
McNally: “Are you referring to the Brown Bears that Mister Wickerstaff referred to earlier? They are quite indigenous to our state and it is well known that they can be quite aggressive at times…”
Thornton: “I am not talking about no… (Expletives deleted) bear.”
McNally: “What exactly are you referring to then Mr. Wickerstaff? Another predator? A wolf or a perhaps cougar? Or perhaps another Satanic cult ritual?”
Thornton: “No, I said Brownies…you know…Girl Scouts. Otis loves kids and was nice enough to let them camp on his spread again this year. They always minded their own business and had a real good time. But this year…these girls…their leader…I rode out by their camp to say hello and saw them. Something wasn’t right…they weren’t acting right, staggering all over the place like drunks or crazies or druggies or something.
Now this is what Otis gets for letting ‘em camp here! What kind of Girl Scouts do (Expletives deleted) like this!”
McNally is shown back in the studio at his anchor desk.
“The Sheriff’s Department went immediately to the girl’s campsite but it had been both vacated and vandalized. Insiders at the scene stated that Officers discovered the mauled remains of three girls and a large Grey Wolf at the site and that both Wickerstaff and Thornton have been taken into custody for questioning.
The Helena Sherriff’s Department and local volunteers have begun a search for the missing Girl Scouts and State and Federal authorities were immediately contacted.”
A full investigation is underway at this time and HEN will report findings as they happen. This is James McNally reporting, Helena Evening News.”
“Brownies? That is too freaking wild, dude. You’re right…this IS some weird stuff. Girl Scouts done went and ate my cows! Man, they’ll play anything on Podunkville T.V. won’t they? Are you sure it wasn’t in Genoa that this happened?”
“It’s an animal massacre and a triple homicide, asswipe. It’s such a big joke that they called in the Feds. Straighten up, Bri! Are you even paying attention to the details, you moron?” Andy scolded.
“I just thought the rednecks were kind of funny, that’s all. Don’t be such a nutsack…I’m watching.”
This one was an amateur Japanese video taken with a camera phone that was making the internet rounds. Once more, Andy’s nice job of amateur titling and then…
The video was about ten minutes in length, very scratchy and cut out at times, but the real news was in the video itself with no translation really needed.
“Youtube…now we’re talking!”
“Shut up!”
“Youtube’s cool. At least it’s not the freaking sticks with rednecks and cowboys like that last one…OWWWW! Stop elbowing me, you nutsack!”
YOUTUBE VIDEO POSTED 11/07
By daitanfuteki001
A crowd is gathered outside a Kitakyushu hotel watching hose trucks and dozens of firemen attend to an out of control hotel fire. There are cheers from the gathered spectators as a young Kitakyushu fireman carries a small child out of the vast inferno, hands the injured victim over to paramedics and bravely rushes back into the blaze. An inordinate amount of time passes and portions of the hotel entrance begin to collapse.
There is a loud, sadness tinged murmur passing through the crowd that the fireman and all remaining inside have surely died. Other firemen are anxious at the entrance but it is very obvious that the blaze is so powerful that to enter would be suicide.
Finally, a fiery figure appears at base of the doorway, crawling out onto the expensively tiled entry and one of the firemen immediately grabs an extinguisher and sprays the poor soul.
Once the flames are doused, it is apparent that the badly burned victim has only one leg. Two more flame engulfed figures of undeterminable gender stumble out of the doorway. Just like the burned crawling man, they move very stiff and slow-very unlike the panic run usually associated with a man on fire.
They amble toward the firemen and the burned man on the tiles is now moving again, also toward the firemen.
There are audible screams in the crowd of spectators, obviously standing close to the unknown videographer.
The man with the extinguisher rushes over to the two walking fire victims and begins spraying them, but they continue to walk through the cloudy CO2 spray…seemingly unaware that they are completely aflame and grab hold of a man attending one of the hoses. From the distance that the video was being taken from, it was difficult to see clearly for a moment and then it appeared as though the zoom on the phone camera was activated.
The hose man lets out an utterly chilling scream as one of the fiery citizens wraps his arms around the man and…what?
At first it looks almost like a kiss- knocking the man’s helmet to the pavement- and the burning human touches his face to that of the screaming fireman, then pulls away after his advance.
The fireman continues to scream and drops the high pressure hose. His hair is now on fire and there is a sizzling, bloody hole where his nose should have been.
You can hear the cameraman yelling in Japanese but he continues to film. The camera is more unsteady now, but the picture is still discernible.
The injured fireman goes down and both flaming figures go down with him as other members of the department rush to them. The unattended hose can be clearly seen spraying wildly in various directions, moving wildly like a snake in the crowd.
The camera pans to the still smoldering, charcoal colored man with one leg. He has lost interest in the firemen and is now crawling toward the panicked spectators.
The camera zooms in on the crawling man’s face and it is a miracle that this man could possibly still be alive, let alone conscious and moving. The upper portion of his face is eyeless and burned completely down to the flame darkened skull. His mouth is open and smoke escapes as he lets out a very disturbing groan and his body leaves a smear on the bright stone tiles behind it that glistens wetly in the firelight.
The camera pans back to the two still burning people that look almost like skeletons now. Their clothing and most of their flesh have disintegrated, but they continue to assault the fireman that is no longer screaming…or moving.
The serpent-like fire hose begins to spray the spectators and they are fleeing now. The phone camera falls into a puddle and is picked back up. The lens is covered with grime and a quick wipe does little to clear the picture.
But the audio goes on for a few seconds. There is a loud crash-possibly the hotel collapsing, more screaming now and gunfire.
A single word is yelled out in varying voices…KYONSHI! KYONSHI! KYONSHI!
The long, ghastly video ends -probably due to an exhausted battery.
Brian was staring blankly at the screen, an uneasy look on his face and trying to digest what he’d just seen. “I-I don’t even know what to say about that one, dude. That was like…straight out of freaking Hell. What does Kyonshi mean anyway and how do you know this isn’t like…some kind of amateur movie trailer or something? Those college student movies are on the tube all the time.”
Andy shook his head. “You know it’s not special effects and you exactly what Kyonshi means if you put it in context with what you just saw, asswipe. Connect the dots…Kyonshi is the Japanese word for living dead. I’ve got more…just watch.”
“Dude, we’ve seen crazy stuff before on the internet. It doesn’t make it…”
“Shhhhh! Keep watching, Brian.”
It was a scanned, edited copy of an earlier article from the same newspaper that was sitting unread on Brian’s kitchen table.
Knowing Brian’s family, everything other than the sports, comics and classifieds remained unread.
CHICAGO-TRIBUNE Evening Edition Monday, October 7th
WASHINGTON DC- Associated Press- The President spoke briefly to reporters today from Capitol Hill, after extending her heartfelt condolences via conference call to family and friends at the funeral service for Colonel George A. Hollandsworth earlier this morning at The Old Post Chapel inside Fort Meyer. He has been awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor posthumously and is to be buried with full honor in Arlington National Cemetery tomorrow morning at 10:00 am Eastern.
President McMurray has been rumored ill and her office is making no official comment on her health at this time.
There appears to be a growing concern by both the Hollandsworth family and the public as to why the Colonel was cremated at the Kennedy Space Center medical facilities, where he was receiving care for severe flu-like symptoms, rather than the traditional burial that his family had requested. The Press Secretaries for both Kennedy Space Center and President McMurray would state only that “A difficult decision was made with the best interests of national security and public health and safety in consideration.”
Both also promised a full statement would be forthcoming after further investigation.
“Okay, but hey…I admit it, I’m not as smart as you are, Andy. Where are you going with…all this?”
Andy interrupted. “SHHHHHH! Watch the rest first and I’ll explain everything to you, you brickhead.”
“You’re not going to hit me again, are you?”
“I’m not screwing around, Bri. This is dead serious stuff!”
“I don’t know, bro…maybe Dawn of the Dead serious stuff!”
Andy punched him in the arm again.
“Owww! Okay. Sorry. And if you punch me agin I’m going to kick your butt!”
CHICAGO TRIBUNE
Evening Edition Tuesday, October 8th
Chicago, Illinois- In a meeting today with heads of state from Russia, China, Japan, England, India, Mexico, Egypt and Australia in Hamburg, Germany today, President McMurray stated that the severe, flu-like virus referred to by much of the populace as the Pegasus One Flu is now being considered and addressed as a global concern.
Former United States Air Force Colonel George A. Hollandsworth has been widely identified as the first carrier and casualty, however, debate continues on its actual origin.
With no immediate vaccine or cure in sight, all participating countries have made a commitment to both fund and staff a collective large scale research and treatment facility in hopes of fighting this virus. To date, regardless of origin, it has been estimated that “The Pegasus One Flu” has infected almost a half million people worldwide and caused the death of over 50,000 people.
“It’s…the beginning of the undead apocalypse, man. I’ve got a bunch more of this kind of stuff, but if you just look at this crap one story at a time, it’s just like gossip rag weird news. It’s when you put it all together that you see the pattern and begin to figure it out.”
“Who all knows about this stuff, Andy?”
“I’m sure there’s been a lot of people see it. It’s a worldwide thing, there’s no cure and the governments are already beginning to give us a snow job. Dude, we see it in the movies and read it in comics, but this is real! It’s freaking real!” Andy declared with an emotional quiver in his voice, “And no one is going to believe us. It’s even hard for me to believe too but it’s all right here. Here’s some stuff from back home, just a week ago!”
“From Genoa?” Brian asked.
He didn’t even know they had a paper.
“I told you that the folks back in Genoa aren’t just waiting around for the government to decide what we have and what we’re going to do about it like everyone else seems to be doing.”
“Man this is like a bad dream or something and I want to wake up!” Brian groaned.
ROCKFORD EVENING REGISTER Thursday, October 10th
GENOA- Controversial small North-Central Illinois town Genoa, with a population of just over four thousand is intent to deal with Pegasus One developments on their own terms and accord. Unofficial reports have suggested that the town is refuting the more patient “Wait and See” approach taken by Chicago, state, and federal jurisdictions with a plan perhaps more reminiscent of actions taken during Medieval times of plague.
Apparently, the township has voted to begin a quarantine program that includes removal of the infected from within city limits and bodies of citizens that have died from the virus are being moved to a rural site for what rumors say may be a mass burial or burning.
The Governor’s office has not made any official declaration regarding Genoa actions, but an unnamed employee of the state office did suggest that a representative may be sent to confer with Mayor Harrison Carter.
Speaking on behalf of the Genoa mayor’s office and the six surviving members of the eight seat city council, Carter talked very briefly, and perhaps even a bit facetiously with the press.
“Standing with reporters outside the new fences being constructed and nearing completion around the town that essentially is intended to close Genoa and its remaining residents off from others, the Mayor elaborated.
While we are not in any way trying to dictate morally, ethically or strategically what should or shouldn’t be done by other respective communities, we will, without reservation or hesitation, preserve and protect the best interests of Genoa and the safety of its citizens.”
“Pretty radical, huh? But at least they’re doing SOMETHING. Add this stuff to what we’ve been hearing on the news and what do you get?”
“We need to tell people, Andy!” Brian exclaimed.
“Right… and the world is going to act on what two teenage geeks say over what the authorities are saying. Maybe I am just a crazy kid, but you saw the same thing I did, right?”
“Yeah and if we get other people…”
“We can try but this stuff has been out there for everyone to see. I just put it all together on the same page. They believe me back home. People are getting sick, weird stuff is going on there too and it looks like they’re doing something about it.”
“It looks real enough to me, Andy. We still have to try and tell people, I mean, even if they think we’re nuts…it’s like, better than doing nothing at all, right?”
“No one official is going to believe anything until a zombie bites them in the ass. I guess I just showed you this stuff because you’re like my…you know, my brother. My best friend. Maybe you can convince your family, some friends…I don’t know. I guess I’m still a stupid jerk because I don’t have a clue what to do.”
“Well I’ll tell my folks, so print me your scrapbook. It’ll be easier to show them than to tell them. Look, you’re like my brother and best friend too, Andy,” Brian admitted and the big boy gave his smaller, thinner friend a hard embrace.
“Dude! You’re crushing my bones!” Andy chuckled, “And everybody knows that any manhug over two seconds is like totally gay.”
Brian backed away liked he’d received an electrical shock.
“That was only two seconds, you nutsack!” “I thought we were being serious?” Brian complained.
“We are… and that was probably four or five seconds, asswipe….maybe six!”
“Would you knock it off?…I’m being real serious right now and…well, I was going to do this at Christmas, but um…maybe now there won’t be another one,” Brian mumbled bashfully as he reached under his mattress, “I didn’t really buy thirty copies of Metalmaniac number one. I was just messing with you, dude. That really IS one lame comic. I bought this instead…for you.”
“Whoah, man! Giant Size Amazing War Action number one!!! Bri, I don’t know what to say…I mean…I can’t believe…Dude, you are the BEST!” Andy exclaimed ecstatically as he held the book out reverently in front of him.
“It gets even cooler, man. Get this…my mom delivers food to the radio station every day and gets to talking with the folks there about her kid and comics and you’re crazy Holy Grail search for this one. They call their news and traffic helicopter pilot about it and …get this… it’s Charlie…THE Charlie. Peter “Charlie Chopper” Nowitzski, the dude that did the book. Weird old hippy looking dude with get this… a beard with a lightning bolt died into it, a shaved head, earrings with feathers in them and tattoos all over his body. Mom said he had big biceps and reminded her a lot of the old wrestler Superstar from back in the seventies and eighties, only Charlie is older and out of shape…like he drinks a lot of beer. I guess he was a real nice guy though and she got him to autograph it. Open it up to the first page…it’s pretty awesome.”
“I think maybe I’ve heard of Charlie, and unlike King Kong Cole…Superstar was totally awesome!”Andy teased as he opened the old comic carefully, like it was made of nitro glycerin- and ready to explode at any time.
“Like you’d know who’s awesome in wrestling. Just look inside it, you nutsack!”
There was a personalized inscription on the inside of the front cover:
To Ho,
The bravest fucking kid I ever saw in my life, a helluva a guy with a bow and my hero for life. You are what all men should aspire to be…the absolute best of what we have inside us. I will never forget you, brother, never.
Peter “Charlie Chopper” Nowitzski
Andy’s face said it all. “Man this is just way cool. Look, I didn’t know we were doing Christmas today so…I want you to have my laptop, okay? I’ve got a PC at home anyway and you don’t even have a computer here. You can help me post my scrapbook everywhere that will let us. We’ll be doing something and only the lamest of the lame lamers don’t have a computer.”
“Well, it’s not the crossbow but…still really cool, dude,” Brian smiled and walked over to his friend.
Andy flinched and backed away. “Okay…now let’s get busy and try to save the world. And dude please, no more of your gay bear hugs…okay? My ribs still hurt.”
“Nutsack!” Brian smiled, poking Andy in the shoulder.
“Asswipe.”
****
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