Wicked Zombies

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!

Wanker made me do it...

"What's the fucking point?" I asked

"You know what the fucking point is, Bolo. The fucking point is that we've now fought and won 27 battles with these flesh-eating tossers and every time we've had a different tactical plan and we've never lost a fighter yet! That's the fucking point! Ever since that Uber-geek managed to wipe off 95 percent of the shite you find on the 'net pretty much the only site they're gonna be looking at is this one, and if they're looking at it, that means they've survived this long, and if you have any fucking compassion for these people you will share your tactical fucking accounts with them and give them a fighting fucking chance!!"

He was right, of course, but (and I quote) "did he have to swear so much, though?".

So, that's why I started writing these posts- to let other survivors know what we'd done and whether we were successful.
The thing I've noticed is that I'm spending way too long talking about who rather than how but the trouble is, who I have in my "army" is ultimately instrumental in the tactics I employ and directly proportionate to our success in battle.

So what I've decided is that, to fully understand and, indeed, envisage the battles as you read them I will describe to you now the people that fight by my side- the fellow survivors who owe me nothing but still do as I ask them to do as we undertake our task to cleanse this once green and prosperous world of the Devil's Children. To take back for ourselves what we have lost as we declare "No! We will not be destroyed by these vile things!! We will survive as our ancestors survived!! WE...WILL...LIVE!!!"....

and shit.....

How will I introduce the pivotal members of my clan? In order of importance? No. All the people described hereafter are important and I firmly believe that without one, we would not have survived thus (fucking "thus"!?" far.

The only fair order to do it in would be chronological. As we met them.
I'll probably include a physical description for most and maybe a bit of background into their "original" life but, unless pertinent, I won't be going to go into all the bollocks of how we met (I say "we", as Wanker has been with me since before the Outbreak), that would be of little tactical importance and would only serve to satisfy my own nostalgia.

So without further ado, as they say, may I introduce you to "The Leatherheads".

After Rampage the next member to join our little troupe was Steve "Spook" Anderson.

The reason Steve's call sign is Spook is because one minute me and Rampage were fighting a gang of 30-40 zeds, side-by-side, with Wanker in the car resting his .17HMR on the wing mirror picking off the late comers, and the next minute me and Rampage were fighting side-by-side-by-side with this short but stocky, tattoo'd daemon with a meat tenderiser in his shovel-sized fist!

Fuck me, I nearly took his head off myself!

He didn't say a word and his face was all smashed up and bleeding and the second I noticed him next to me I shouted to Rampage "What the fuck!? This one's got a fucking meat hammer!".

Fortunately for him, just as I raised my machete to decapitate this fucking monster he raised his hammer to cave in the head of the nearest zed. That stopped me in my tracks long enough to recognise him as not-quite-undead (though he fucking looked like it).
After the fight Rampage couldn't control himself and was pissing himself with laughter- "Aaah, you shit yourself, man! You fucking shit yourself!! Ha ha ha ha!!"
"Fuck off, nob head! No I didn't!" I said, totally unconvincingly. "He fucking spooked me, that's all"

Rampage kept laughing "Fucking Spook!"... ha fucking ha...

He told us, the reason he looked so "unhealthy" when he first appeared is that about half a mile down the road he'd crashed his car and hit his face on the steering wheel, breaking his nose and spraying claret all over himself.

Other than that we don't know where he came from, what he did in his original life, or what he'd left behind but, I tell you, the man can fight, and me and Rampage might even owe our lives to him. Who can tell?

Anyway, I trust him with my life and that's the reason why Spook and Rampage are always the team leaders on clearance missions

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Comment by Komrad Venessa Wicked☭ on August 22, 2009 at 1:10pm
Fortunate he still has his head...

Comment by Bolo on August 9, 2009 at 12:27pm
Many thanks.
Next up is my blacksmith.
Comment by Paul Manitowabi on August 8, 2009 at 3:44pm
Yes indeed. this is really good reading.

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