Bolo's Blog – August 2009 Archive (9)

After 27 organised battles with the undead I thought (or at least I hoped) that I knew enough about them for the final phase to work.



It relies on perfect timing from the boys and the rank stupidity of the zeds. Tricky...



"Phase 4" I told them, "is when it all happens."

"When I'm happy that Gobby has got every zed in the area all rounded up into a well behaved herd, I'll give the word, Rampage will bring his lot out of the aquarium and make their way towards… Continue

I can't believe it myself but I actually felt a bit guilty about what I had to tell Gobby next.

"Once you've finished clearance at the aquarium, that's your lot for fighting".

Well, his face fucking dropped and he looked like he was about to kick off... or cry.

"It's not over for you though, mate. We're gonna need you more than ever for the next bit."

He was still sulky but it could've been worse.



"So, Gobby, once you're out of the aquarium you'll be hairing it… Continue

And so it was that I was sat at the table in the ready room and, with the exception of Nana, Joy and Lloyd, with all the people I've mentioned previously to discuss what we were going to do about the pre-"rehabitation" clearance of Jubilee Beach.

As I've mentioned before there are 37 of us plus myself. Nana, Joy and the Rat Fuck don't fight so that makes 34 to divvy up for battle.



After the call came through me and Wanker dug out what maps we could find of the area, including… Continue

You can tell a lot from a handshake.



You can tell whether someone is a grafter or a slacker. You can tell whether they are humble, strong-willed, arrogant, timid, even eager to please or dis-trustful.

And always look into their eyes. Always.

This is why I insist on this otherwise redundant tradition everytime a new member joins our fold.

I need to know who I'm letting in, and 8 days ago I let in Lloyd.



Lloyd's handshake was... ugly.



It was cold… Continue

Ada "Nana" Keeler and her granddaughter Joy.



There's no "how we met" tale here. Instead I'll be giving you an insight into the nature of this incredible woman and it will become obvious how much we need her as part of our family.



At the age of 79 years she has lived through the Second World War and she has the fighting spirit and presence of mind of many of her generation.

When we got to her she and her granddaughter had survived for 3 weeks and 6 days after the First… Continue

Gobby a.k.a The Suicidal Fucks.



How we came to cross paths is interesting but, at this point, of no tactical relevance so I'll forego that particular tale.



Perhaps another day.



Gobby is in fact two people- The fast-talking, expletive spitting lad we call Gobby and his, well... let's just say "partner" for now.

In harsh contrast to Gobby his partner says nothing... ever. I've seen him whisper in Gobby's ear before but only when he thinks no-one is… Continue

After Spook came Tongs.



Daniel "Tongs" Shoesmith.



What I do know about him is that he was a CNC operator in his original life, and apparently quite a good one.

"I've made parts for particle accelerators!" he said to me, the day we picked him up.

"Not much use to us, I'm afraid fella" I replied. "What else can you do?"

"Er... I like metal!?" he offered, a little confused.

"You like metal...okay... What do you know about heat treating and tempering?" I… Continue

Wanker made me do it...



"What's the fucking point?" I asked



"You know what the fucking point is, Bolo. The fucking point is that we've now fought and won 27 battles with these flesh-eating tossers and every time we've had a different tactical plan and we've never lost a fighter yet! That's the fucking point! Ever since that Uber-geek managed to wipe off 95 percent of the shite you find on the 'net pretty much the only site they're gonna be looking at… Continue

I suppose, upon reflection, calling the first post "Part 1" could've been a little misleading.

I'm not an author or a playwrite and I don't want this all to sound like a story.

This shit happened and will continue to happen until the numbers start to swing in the favour of the living.



Still, I suppose if you're tucked up in your cosy government bunker with a lifetime's supply of replenishable supplies with nothing more to worry about than getting out of your bunk for… Continue