July 2011 Blog Posts (47)

Why does it still hurt

Everytime I am turned away from.

I can no longer take it

I'm done.

I'm done..

With trying to let it out.

No one wants to listen anyway..

So I'm done.

I will keep it to myself.

I will not bother anyone with my pain.

I'm done, trying to believe in people.

I'm done with letting people in.

No one cares..

No one listens..

No one trys to help

So…

Are you listening?

When I tell you about my issues.

It doesn't show...

I need to tell someone but you won't listen.

Are you listening?

It seems like your just waiting..

Waiting for me to shut up,

And leave you alone.

Are you listening?

When I cry out for help..

I am on the edge and

You still have yet to listen.

Are you listening?

When you witness me breaking..

I can no…

I dream of the sweet symphony of silence.

The music I hear,

Within the depth of my mind.

How I wish I could hear it everyday.

I dream of the forest.

Where I can run free.

No chains to hold me down.

No one to cause me pain.

I dream of a depthless night.

I dream of nothing but the swirling depths

of the sky above me.

In that sky I am alive.

I dream of the luminous moon.

The…

I've heard everything on the radio,

the same ol' song and dance.

Ain't it about time you blow me away

with some lyrics about bad romance?

Yeah, Lady Gaga wears the meat suit,

and Michael Vampire's got the cut.

We've heard the best by Bon Jovi,

and listened to Pink belt out, "So What."

We know all the words to Fireflies,

and every Maroon Five song there is.

Ain't it about time for a new surprise?

I guess I could just…

How can you insult someone that you don't know?

Who are you to judge them?

Why would you throw

stones at those you wish to condem?

I don't understand..

Why people hurt one anouther

Those people don't deserve

Your cruel and cold hearted insults.

Maybe if you observed

The damange you have done, maybe if you saw the results

 Of your jokes, your insults, or even just your rude gestures

Maybe then you…

   I don't get it. Why people are so hung up on insults, I mean. Yeah, they make you feel bad, and maybe they'll stick around for a while, but it builds character, right? I've been called ugly, fat, talentless, stupid, stuck-up, worthless, pathetic, cowardly... I could go on, but why bother? I remember, last summer, I was staring at this teenage guy pushing a stroller. I was thinking, at the time, "Wow... How much did he have to fuck up to be put in that position?" I saw him glance at me,…

Dear amazing friends who have been reading my blog posts,

Thank you very much. I hope I have not worried any of you. 

There has been a long silence from me not because it is summer, but because I have been, and still am, battling some harsh depression and stress. Complaining has been something I've been doing often, but I try really hard to limit it, because no one…

So hey people on WZ! I'm Spicewolf and for the past month? I think thats how long its been.. I've been posting some of my poems on my blog.. So I have a question for the people who read my poems did you like them and should I countinue posting poems on my blog? I really would like to know if people actually like my poems because I don't want to keep posting them if people don't enjoy reading them, So if you could please tell me if you like my poems and if I should countinue posting…

I have 2 favorite scenes from zombie movies, the first is from "Diary of the Dead" at the little girls birthday party when the dad pulls off the clown's red nose and his real nose comes off with it. My other favorite zombie scene is from "Dead Alive" when the leading man uses a lawn mower to kill like 20-30 zombies at once.

Stop trying to break down my walls.

Stop trying to unlock the door

I never wanted you to make me fall.

But now I'm yours.

Please don't look at my heart,

Its not pure like yours.

Its not sweet like a fruity tart.

And I don't believe there is a cure,

That can help heal those scars.

So please don't even try.

Just..just stay away.

Please go away..I don't want you to see me cry,

Because…

CHECK IT HERE ARE THE MIXTAPES FEATURING VARIOUS ARTISTS I'V BEEN PROMOTING ON MY RADIO SHOW JUGGALO RYDA RADIO AND ALSO ARTISTS I KNOW ON A PERSONAL BASES THERES 5 VOLUMES PLUS A HALLOWEEN EDITION AND THERE IS A VOLUME 6 IN THE MAKING IF ANYONE KNOWS ANY BANDS LOOKING FOR PROMTION WEATHER THEY BE METAL, ROCK, PUNK SEND THEM MY WAY EMAIL IS HAVOKWIR@YAHOO.COM AND FACEBOOK WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/JUGGALOHAVOK NOW HERE ARE THE LINKS FOR EACH MIXTAPE…

What is it that makes us breathe? 

That makes us laugh, walk and die?

Life.

The very fruit of our existence that can suck us dry in a matter of seconds.

But chooses not to.

It carries us in its arms protecting us from harm, it shows us comfort when we need it most.…

The putrid smell of rotting flesh seeping into the air as I slide my mask on.

The filthy streets I walk past littered with dead bodies.

Their dead corpses a home for the creatures who scurry across the floor,The flies buzzing around making it hard to think.

No one is here. The faces of families and children stare at me with hopeless…

Look at the scars on my arms.

look at the marks on my legs.

The oozing flesh dripping off me like blood dripping off a knife.

Each piece of flesh bubbling with its own acid rain sticking to you as I graze past you.

You stare at me as though I have a disease, I have nothing to hide for I know I am a monster.

My skin shows it, the blisters, the scars, and all the marks of my past interference.

Whats wrong with me?

I am just like you but have a…

  My mom called yesterday... Not Mell, whom I've repeatedly mentioned in my other blogs, but my birth mom, Gail. The one who I haven't seen in over half of my…

They say that no one knows,

What lies underneath the skin.

Underneath the intoxicating scent of the roses,

Within those crystal eyes

They dwell.

She will not let anyone touch her heart.

The only way to quiet Them is threw her art.

Her art is her quiet yell,

Her cry for the one,

The one with the Key to Their release.

For she is done.

Her yearning for the peace

That Death has promised…