Bastion WFP's Blog – June 2010 Archive (18)

I'm the best at what I do, if they want it I can get it no matter what. I'm a professional theif and now that most of my clients are former art curators who've worked at museum overrun on the east coast I suppose I'm not stealing. But hey who cares I'm doing the right thing so I sleep well at night but I sleep even better with some gold too. See actual paper money is worthless now we've gone back to gold, copper, silver, diamonds, and such. So whenever I go to a museum I 'wet my whistle' with a… Continue

I walked into a poorly lit room with the largest gun I'd ever seen on a table the colonel behind me flipped the switch and the lights came on my eyes took time to adjust but when they did I saw a guy standing behind the table the guy was big nearly as big as I was but then he stretched his hand out to shake my hand I took his hand and jesus christ this guy had the firmest handshake I'd ever felt it was almost enough to make a man cry obviously this guy was a hardcore soldier





He… Continue

Nobody ever told us exactly what we were signing up for but they said we were getting paid 20 g's a month and hey 20 g's a month you do the fucking math that's what my granddad would call 'Buku Bucks' But before I get into that let's start at the beginning



I was sitting on a roof with the rest of my squad in the safe zone of New Orleans when I saw a OH-6 Cayuse off in the distance I figured it would just pass over us but then it started to decline in altitude pretty soon it was… Continue

*No zombies in this one*



The cow said to me "What are you doing? Get the fuck up!" Jesus guy said "Hey Hector bro get up G.I.s aren't allowed to die on duty" I said "Okay" and opened my eyes and saw Doc standing over me he said "Hey the dead man is awake, enjoy your nap sweetheart?" I said "Yea, actually I did" Point was a foot away rolling a J on an ammo box he licked it smelled it and lite it up took a long toke of it and then past it to me "Take it, it'll numb the pain" I looked… Continue

*No zombies in this blog series sorry*



People say I'm the life of the party because I tell a joke or two were the first things I heard hopping out of the huey and over the roar of the rotors I think the song was Tracks of my Tears anyway I looked around for a second and saw Firebase Charlie but before I could make any assumptions I was approached by the man I'd soon know by simply Sarge



He said to me "Welcome to the 'nam, what's your name kid?" I replied "Name's Hector… Continue

I blew out of that door like a bat outta hell I turned and saw the street was full of kids decked out in black I thought oh shit but they wouldn't catch me I knew that much



I holstered my pistols and kicked it into overdrive I turned down an alley and then took a left there was a downed fire escape and I ran up it I was on a roof and saw that the building next to it was close maybe a 5 foot gap I felt like pulling some Assassin's Creed type shit so I ran and jumped over the gap just… Continue

I walked down a street in well I really didn't know what city I was in but it looked like Chicago anyway I took a turn down this street and saw all these fucking teenagers just sitting around there were hundreds of them the weird part was there was not a single zombie around either anyway they were all just hanging around talking and watching me walk through I smirked and thought of the MCR song Teenagers



I kept walking still kinda smiling I mean I was probably the oldest guy there… Continue

My whole family, my friends, everyone I've ever met is dead or deadish, I haven't seen a living person in over a year and am quickly losing my insanity everytime I hear a twig snap or a moan I have to think did I imagine hearing that or was there an actual moan or twig snapping? I spend night after night sharpening my machete and cleaning my sawed of 20 gauge I have on 12 rounds left with it I keep looking for food, for water, for hope, but find none, the road is long and hard and there is… Continue

I didn't even have to walk over to our campfire we all moved our tents all to where the fire was I stepped outta my tent and Francisco had these 20 question kinda cards he said "What animal has a 6 foot long dick?" I answered "A Blue Whale" he turned over the card and said "While I'll be damned a Blue Whale, Who was Adolf Hitler's Cheif Architect?" I answered immediatly "Albert Speer" He turned over the card and said "How in the fuck do you know all this shit?" I smiled and said "I'm wiki… Continue

These guys had become my web, news, and magazine all rolled into one we'd gotten pretty tight over the past few days I thought about that as we all walked towards the little campfire we had to tell what we'd heard



Mike started off "Y'all know those live feeds of those dominatrixes on the internet?" we all said yes "Well I was watching one last night" Jim butted in who was bunked up with Mike "YOU BEEN JACKING OFF WHILE I'M SLEEPING?" Mike said "n-n-NO" I said "Yeah sure and the sky… Continue

I walked over to our little meeting place ad looked at all the guys saying "Mike, Jim, Rob, Gregg, Francisco, Collins" they all said hey I asked them all "So what's new?" Mike stood up "The president's dead, they got 'im" I looked down and said "Shit how?" Mike sat back down again



"So they tried to evac the president but the helicopter's couldn't get to him due to a hurricane that blew up along the coast, so they sent in 9 SEAL teams to take him out via convoy well there were so many… Continue

We sat on top of the roof of a Sam's Club it was me and 6 other guys we had all this shit set up on it we had generators gas and even some big fucking tents as well as ammo and food and booze....of course



So I walked over to the other 6 guys I didn't know their names but I figured I'd know eventually anyway I walked over to the group and said "So fellas what's the word?" one guy looked up and said "You hear bout Usain Bolt?" I shook my head he said "Well it went like this they got… Continue

I could count on one hand how many hours of sleep I got that night the dead would be pounding on the doors and occaisionally there would be a single shot to take out a particularly ravenous one and then I'd drift back to a nightmare infested sleep



Then finally I awoke for the 9th time and the lightes were on and the sun was shining I smelt food todays breakfest campers is Borch I chuckled to myself at that thought and then lifted myself up and packed my shit into my duffle I then… Continue

The Heli was hovering at 9 feet above and I threw my duffle over and then I leaped out landing on the hard permafrost but hey at least I got over I waved bye to the pilot and looked around and saw nothing but a bar which was maybe 100 yards away and off in the distance I saw a single zombie stumble on top of the berm I figured I might as well get out of the cold and head to the bar



So I started walking through the bone-chilling, biting, freezing, wind and through the stinging… Continue

I looked down into the black freezing waters of the bearing strait I asked to the pilot "HOW LONG" guy said without looking back "WERE 40 SECONDS OUT" I mumble to myself "bullshit" but then I saw it the mainland of the former Russian Republic it is now been disbanded into small quarelling states like the one I was about to land in The Siberian Republic of the People it was a communist country as you can tell by the name



Well, I was sent there to kill their leader Joseph Zhukov and I… Continue

How the fuck did I ever get stuck in here? Well, it all started 2 days ago at least I think it was 2 days time passes so slow here anyway my squad was assigned to clear out this middle school things were going pretty slow and quiet when out of nowhere hundreds of runners and shamblers started pouring out of the classrooms my squad opened up with all of our autos just overwhelming firepower but it didn't even make a dent so I ran I ran to the closest door and that was to a closed off no window… Continue

We sped away from Wal-Mart at 75 mph laughing our asses off and playing This is How We do It-by Montell Jordan singing along with just "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT" watching Zack pour out of the buildings shooting a bit and then we roared up Mount Kennedy towards the cabin there was a heavy mist in the air and visibility was little more than 300 yards but we kept going at 75 and then we saw our driveway we immediatly slowed down to a crawl me and Tucker hopped out of the back and crouched besides the… Continue

Sprinting across the street towards another big empty rich fuck's house I saw a chick maybe 31 round there anyway she was wearing a big extra large Che Lives shirt and some torn to shit jeans well I figured she was a shambler and ran towards the house I got to the door and then I felt an icy cold hand on my shoulder that gripped tight I whirled around and nailed Che girl right between the eyes



Well she didn't like that she popped up ran and jumped onto my back I grabbed her nasty ass… Continue