YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!
My oldest boy and my Wife went to the Shell station Saturday night to get everyone something to drink...While they were there, (from what my oldest has told me), my wife started having trouble breathing and ended up passing out...He quickly called 911 and in three minutes the ambulance was there...I get a phone call and thought my wife had wrecked my truck, because all the oldest would tell me was I needed to come get the truck...I was able to get a ride to the Shell station when an officer pulled me over to the side and told me that they had to intubate her and that they were breathing for her...Then the officer told me that she had died and the EMT's were able to bring her back...They take her to the hospital and it doesn't get any better....
It's pretty bad dude...She died on us three times, once at the Shell station, once on the way to the ER and again when they life flighted her to Jackson...They were able to get her back all three times and as it stands right now, she is in the Cardio Vascular Intensive Care Unit at Jackson Madison Hospital...She is stable, but critical. They have her on life support and they have dropped her body temp to 33 degrees to keep her brain from swelling...Today they started warming her body temp and said it will take a while in order for them to reach normal body temp...Once this is down, they will stop the sedatives and will allow her to start waking up to see if she'll start trying to breath on her own...Right now she is in a medicated coma...
After she comes to, if she comes to, she'll have brain, diabetes, kidney, lung and heart specialists prodding and probing her for the next 2 months and then she might get to come home after that...But as it stands right now, that's just being hopeful...
So right now I'm just running on instinct and nothing else....That's why I haven't been around for the last few days....I'm really just doing my best to keep it together for the boys...If I break they'll end up thinking or believing the worst and so I have to keep going and deal with this shit on my own...
Yeah her mom and sister and my sister and dad are trying to help me deal with it, but as it stands right now, none of them understand a mothering fucking thing and I wish people will stop telling me that they know what I'm going through and telling me to call them if I wanna talk...
They have NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH AND I DON'T NEED TO FUCKING TALK TO ANYONE...Yes, some of them have lost spouses and friends and lovers and whatever, but they don't know how I fucking feel or what I'm going through...I have people saying I'm sorry dude, it must be tough...
YOU STUPID SONOFABITCH, REALLY, YOU THINK IT'S FUCKING TOUGH!!! WHAT GAVE YOU THE FIRST FUCKING CLUE SHERLOCK MOTHERFUCKING HOLMES???
DEAL WITH TWO KIDS who are MOMMA's boys all the way, One is 17 and the other is 9 and listening to them cry in thier rooms because their mom's aint fucking home...Try taking on the roll or putting on the shoes of someone who could defuse a situation by just looking at the kids...Take on the roll of someone who could make you laugh just by spilling a drink or something...
You want to know what the hell I'm going through, I'm pissed off at her for not taking better care of herself, I'm pissed off at me for not taking the fucking steps that needed to be done before her ass ended up back in the fucking hospital...I'm pissed off at the man upstairs for putting my family through this mess, I'm pissed off at everyone that has literally told me "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH", when they know FUCKING NOTHING about what I'm going through...
I'm pissed off at myself for not even being able to be in her room and not being able to look at her...I'm pissed off because I cant even bring myself to touch her...I'm pissed off because everybody keeps telling me I need to be there with my wife and they all know that the fucking 80 mile round trip eats a lot of my gas for my truck, let alone how limited my funds are in even keeping the fuel in the truck...
I'm fucking tired of everyone wanting to touch me and hug me or somehow show pity towards me...
If these fucking people really wanna help me, how about helping supply me with the funds I need to drive and see my wife...How about come watch my fucking dog for the day so I can see my wife while my kids are in school...How about fucking pulling out that gas can in your goddamn garage and putting it in my gas tank...How about helping me out with a little bit of food to feed my kids...
Quit telling that if there's anything you can do, to let you know...Because when I mention something about a few bucks for gas or a pack of fucking hotdogs so my kids can get something in their bellies, because our foodstamps haven't kicked in yet, and you tell me well I don't have it or I'll have it tomorrow...FUCK THAT, you said ask if I need anything to call, I call because I need a little fucking help because my wife is in the hospital and I need a little help with minor shit, and you're going to tell me you can't do it or you don't fucking have it...Well let me tell you MOTHERFUCKERS SOMETHING, I'M FUCKING DONE WITH YOU....Don't fucking tell me shit and when it comes time to collect on your word you back pedal and fight or lie to get out of owning up to your word....
Sorry, nothing like this applies to you dude...I'm just so tired, worried, confused, upset and just trying to keep a check on my emotions and shit that I didn't mean to rant...Things just don't look good around here...The shit seems to be hitting the fan and I'm not prepped for shit like this...Hell, zombies, I'm ready for...Losing my wife and having to raise two kids alone, dude that's got the shit scared out of me...
I'm trying to look on the fucking bright side, but it's really hard when you end up seeing your wife with tubes in her nose, lines in her arms and neck and a breathing tube down her fucking throat...
So if anyone wants to know how I'm fucking doing, My wife is on her death bed and I have to boys that are emotionally stressed the hell out because their mom is in the hospital and I'm scared shitless...
No offense to anyone, but please don't tell me you know how I feel...Because everyone feels shit different and this is the most scariest shit I've ever been through and this is NO FUCKING walking in the park....
I'm posting this as a reply to so many emails of everyone asking me how's things going...I don't mean any offense by any means of what I said or direct any of this towards anyone here, I just had to update everyone on what's going on...ANd today I really had enough of "If there's anything I can do, Call me" fuckers that I had to let it out...
Miss you guys....
Jessie
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I'll shoot you a call later today my friend...I have to straighten a lot of things around the house and check on the wife and even make sure the schools each know what's going on and that if the boys have any troubles in schools that it may be stress from their mom being in the hospital...
I'll shot you a call around 2 this afternoon and if I don't reach you, I'll try again around 6 or so...I can visit the wife at 9am, 1pm, 5pm and 9pm...But I can also call and use a password to check on her also...No, I'm not to concerned about her being up there by herself, because her mom and her sister are up there and as it stands right now, I have plans to go up there wednsday....
I have a house to clean up and set up some things for getting things straight around...But I'll try and shoot you a call around 6 or 7 tonight...Will probably be the best time for me to call anyone....That way everyone here will or should be done calling me to find out about the wife...
As of right now there is no change and I had a rough night last night...Jason my 17 year old went in with me and my mother-in-law to see his mom yesterday...SHe explained a lot and it seemed to set him at ease but last night I really had a rough night...Lj and Jason both were up and down and were crying till around 4 this morning...Finally I was able to get them straight and even though they are tired I sent them to school...I have to keep them on a reasonable schedule in order to make it easier on them...This morning they left looking tired but smiling and happy...
And before anyone asks, no I haven't broke down...My kids don't need that at this time...I'm doing alright after ranting last night...I know a lot of you probably wanted to post a message but didn't know what to say after everything I said...
Don't be scared to post...
If you or anyone wanting to send a get well soon card, I'm including my address and I'll make sure she gets them...
Denise Garrett
591 N. Forrest Ave
Apt # D-106
Camden, TN
38320
Well, it's 7:40 and I'm tired from the drama last night with my kids...I'll be trying to keep you all updated on the wife's condition as I get the information myself...
Update on my wife...They tried to take her off the sedatives and the breathing machines...Her oxygen levels dropped to almost nothing, which they sedated her and put the machines back on her...They are going to try again, just not sure when...
Will post more when I find out more...
Your call today was very helpful brother...Sorry I couldn't explain or really talk, but your call helped me a lot...I hated I had to cut it so short, but kids and homework and everything was just one of the only things on my mind...
But Thank you for the phone call...
Ok, update...This is getting worse by the day it seems...
I called the hospital to do a check on Denise before I went to bed and the nurse was really rude and pretty much treated me like I was trash or something...In the morning when I get the kids off to school, I'm heading to see Denise and also find out this nurse's name and will be reporting her before I leave...She had no reason to treat me like I was garbage and cop an attitude because someone's husband or family member calls to check on them before that person goes to bed...
I just found out from her mom earlier tonight that the hospital put an external pacemaker on my wife...The hospital never called me, her mom or her sister to let us know that they were having problems with her heart or anything...Her mom called me to let me know what was going on when she visited Denise...Well, things aren't really good...Her heart isn't beating properly and the fluid in her lungs has increased and they have started her on meds to empty the fluids from her lungs again...
Well, I'm heading to bed...Got to make sure the kids make it to school on time and I have enough sleep to drive to Jackson in the morning...
hey man your in my prayers i know when your dealing with this shit it doesn't really help, but you are. a lot of people say they know what your going through but your right they dont. they just say it to be nice but i realty do. i read your story and for a second i could have sword you had quoted my own life story. the similarity's to it and what happened to my mom, well lets face it its the same damn thing right down to dieing and being brought back to the life support. be prepared she will probably have to be on dialysis when she comes out of it cause the organs, the kidneys the most, need time to get working again after crap like this. this shit the worst a person can go through. i saw my dad strongest man i ever knew break down in a way i never saw before. stay strong brother and dont let those people who dont understand get you down about not being able to be there with her. they have no idea that life has to keep moving even when earth shattering shit like this happens. you have to take care of your family it doesn't mean you dont love her. it means more when you cant stand to see the person you love like that. i mean what kind of person could. your going through hell right now brother but just keep walking, even hell has an end. if you need some money man we can work something out. i dont got much right now but no one was their for my family when we needed it so i want to be their for you. message me man i can send you something in the mail.
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Greetings Everyone, Well it's been awhile. As things go, life carries us all in different directions from time to time but you always find your way home sooner or later. Well, life ain't all fun and games, but right now, things are going good. I have restarted my writing on my book again, and as I learn more about about some of the ROle-playing games I have gotten into, I am seriously thinking about rying to create an actual Zombie Survival Role-playing game. But have not set any time…
ContinuePosted by Jessie W. Garrett III on May 22, 2024 at 12:32am
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