Five Weird Zombie Things Online!

Zombies have crawled and clawed their way out movies and television into almost every aspects of media and merchandise. And while that has lead to some great products being released. it has also spawned a slue of strange and disturbing memorabilia that just makes you want say what the f*%k. obscure yet fascinating zombie collectables just beg to be categorized and studied. so i give you

Five Weird Zombie Things Online!

5:
First up we have this strange cereal bowl form my favorite site for nerd core accessories, 'Think Geek'. Two things every hard core horror fan loves are zombies and cereal. So combining them both into this off pudding zombie head bowl is genius. after all who wouldn't want to eat their favorite sugary breakfast flakes out of brain cavity of a reanimated corpse. and hey when you eat out of this it looks like your eating brains just like a zombie. Or a serial killer, or that one dude from Indiana Jones and the temple of doom. This piece of porcelain china straddles the line between cute and down right disturbing. But its far from being the worst thing on this list, and i have to admit would look pretty cool on my breakfast table. even if it makes the rest of my family never eat with me again. hey more milk for me right, right... hello.

4:
"Hey lets go play a rousing game of cribbage" has said no child ever since the 40's. This next entry makes the list with just how absurd it is. Zombies are cool all by themselves and can be even cooler when placed where they don't belong. The re-imagining of Jane Austins pride and prejudiced with zombies comes to mind. But this re-imagining of every bodies weird old aunt's favorite game. should of stayed in the head of what ever sick mind dreamed it up. Its stupid pointless and a shallow attempt to sell repacked crap to kids who don't care. Do not expect to see this on the shelves of your local toy store anytime soon.  

3:
everyone knows Chia-Pets. Those horrible planter things you get last minuet to give as gifts. Mostly too people you don't care enough about to put any actual thought or meaning into their present but still feel social obligated to give them something. Their basically 20$ terracotta fuck you's, with out the middle finger. Until now that is. Got a horror fan you mildly associated with. Well then why not give them disembodied arm growing out of a lump of weeds that you can't even smoke. it might as well be shooting the bird for all Chia-pet has to do zombies, gifts, or basic human kindness. Next time just give the 20 a$$hole.

2:
See what i did there... number two?! Not much needs to be said about this next one. Its a vinyl decal that makes it look like a zombie is crawling its way out of your toilet, about to bite your you know whats off. The perfect prank to play on that special loved one you love to torment. Just proving what a sick sociopath you are. Or just put it in your guest bathroom so the next time some annoying guest over stays their welcome. You can point and laugh as they quickly run from the bathroom trying desperately to cove the mess they undoubtedly made in their pants. That will make sure they never stay over to long again or at all for that mater. Hey who needs friends when you have shiny vinyl zombies to keep you company.

1:
In researching this blog post i have traveled over the corners of the internet. While the items listed above are just silly or stupid. What has taken the top spot is in a completely different league. This falls into the realm of what the fuck is wrong with humanity. This is coming from a guy who get physically excited by seeing another human being torn in half on screen. Apparently that same sight must invoke a whole different kind of excitement for some people. Because you are seeing that right. There is nothing wrong with your screen. That is a zombie dildo and accompanying flesh-light. Complete with rotted flesh and  gaping wounds. For the protection of us unlike all the other i have not included a link to where you can buy these. No one else ever need see the sights i have. God help us all!

Well thats it for this weeks list. Its clear that when it comes to the undead, some people will make everything and anything into a zombie. If you'll excuse me I'm off to go wash out my laptop and eyes with bleach.